“Tale of Two Voices”

c. 2018 Cheryl Kelly

All rights reserved

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Remember those old cartoons where the person would be contemplating some decision and all of a sudden, a tiny angel would pop up on one shoulder whispering gentle guidance, and then a tiny devil would suddenly appear on the other shoulder knocking the angel off, little pitchfork in hand, telling the person to just ignore the winged, lighted figure and make the more reckless choice? I always looked at that angel as the personification of intuition or gut feeling, something more than just a moral director. For me, I would say I really don’t have an angel or devil, but instead, a rational voice in my head that gets muffled at times by the other more nonchalant voice in my head. Or, a better way is to say that I have a “head” voice and a “heart” voice.

Now the “head” voice is very clear, pulls no punches, and always on point. She is very organized, well-thought out, and rarely wrong. She also, is no fun. The “heart” voice, on the other hand, is very open to all things, has an explanation for everything, and is almost always wrong; although she would tell you that at the time it seemed like a good idea. She is very go-with-the-flow, a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants kind of girl and can be a Hell of a lot of fun! Until, she gets crushed, at which point she inevitably tells the “head” voice that she will never not listen to her again.

This inner battle between head and heart I have to believe everyone goes through at some point in their life. They may characterize it differently, but there is usually some head and heart in each of us. Now I’ve known people who are a little imbalanced when it comes to head and heart. You either know, or have dealt with, both types of people I’m sure. The “head” people who cannot function unless they have a plan, who stick to the plan no matter what, and who are almost always very successful. And then there are the “heart” people who just seem to coast, oozing acceptance and kindness to everyone they come in contact with; those who live on the faith that things will just work themselves out, one way or another.

“Head” people tend to be very cautious, almost to a fault. They find it difficult to trust others and have a tendency to be control freaks, since no one can do it better than they can. “Heart” people, on the other hand, tend to be very open to others, love to share and just want everyone to get along. They are not confrontational and usually make friends easily, making them the life of any party! The key, as with most things in life, is to find a nice balance between your head and your heart. You don’t want to be so much in your own head that you become trapped in routine and regimen, losing out on life in general; afraid to reach out, try something new, get out of your comfort zone and discover that perhaps there is more out there that you could be experiencing and enjoying. Yet, you don’t want to be all heart and find yourself without any structure at all and paying immensely for it; losing the understanding that all decisions have consequences that you might not see right away, and those consequences can be very costly.

As for me, I have a tendency to swing my pendulum a bit more towards “head”. I’m not one that likes to just wing it and hope for the best. I do find however, that the older I get, the less worried I am about certain things which has allowed me to let that “heart” voice trumpet a bit louder. Life is short, too short to miss out on new people, places and things simply because of stress or worry, or because there is no room in “the plan” for them. Sometimes there isn’t a choice as to which voice you listen to...circumstances just happen and not always according to the script. And sometimes, you will find that you just have to quiet that head voice down a bit and have some fun, put that heart in the driver’s seat and hope for the best. Even if you crash, chances are the ride will most certainly be worth it!

Editor’s Note: There is a decidedly male version of this conundrum, which might be termed head vs. physiology. We tend to think clearly or not think at all, allowing our genetic imperative to occasionally grab the driver’s seat. In personal terms, some of the most entertaining bad choices I have ever made – purchasing motorcycles or cars, dating women, exploring my own tolerance for alcohol, risking life and limb to set a new record of endurance, etc., came from my ability to suddenly become distracted from the process of actual thinking. I see the same behavior in my Black Lab who is nearing the age of eleven. Despite years of training and conditioning he still switches off his neural command-center when a playful kitty invades his yardspace or a new visitor approaches. I tell him “You are ornery by nature.” Men tend to be the same, I think. Capable of great feats, but still basically dumb at our core.