c.
2018 Cheryl Kelly
All
rights reserved
(6-18)
Throughout
life, people come and people go. Some have longevity and hang for
awhile, almost morphing into the family zone; others are here for
only a short period of time, as if to serve some immediate purpose or
need and then they are gone, never to return; and then there are
those that flit in and out of your life jumping in here and there for
undetermined amounts of time, and then they disappear, only to
reappear a bit later to pick up right where they left off. It got me
thinking about the people in my own life, and how I view those
relationships. Are they friends, acquaintances, persons of
interest…? What I have found, with myself, is that it comes down
to how much I share of myself with them, not necessarily the amount
of time I spend with them, that makes the determination for me.
Let’s
start with the “other” category. These are the people that you
see on a semi-regular basis. You may or may not remember their name,
but there is something about them that draws your attention. It
might be the way they smile, or the way they treat others, or the way
they hold themselves at a gathering. They could be a coworker that
perhaps you only see when you go to the cafeteria for a soda, or see
at a company function. They could be someone you see regularly at
the grocery store that you have idle conversations with on occasion,
or it could be the guy that works on your car when it needs an oil
change or a new set of wiper blades. No matter who they are, they
play a role. They are the “potential” friend or acquaintance if
given enough time. They are someone that you think in your head,
“there’s someone who’s nice...someone I’d like to have a cup
of coffee with sometime...” or in my case, a beer.
Next
we have the acquaintance. This is someone who you have decided is
worth your time to get to know better. They have sparked enough
interest for you and have the “right” qualities and are on their
way to the friend zone, but have been sidelined for one reason or
another. You have decided that they are worth extending yourself a
bit more to explore the possibility of friendship. On the surface
the relationship with an acquaintance resembles friendship, but it
has limitations. This is someone you spend time with occasionally,
however, this person is not someone you open up to, not someone who
is your “go-to” in times of crisis, nor is this someone who has
your full trust. Now this isn’t because they have done something
wrong, or has been deemed by you to be untrustworthy; it’s simply
someone who just doesn’t fit in the friend mold all the way, at
least not just yet. I have many acquaintances and I spend time with
all of them, and I would think that if you asked them, they would
define our relationship as a friendship, but technically, it’s
missing some key components for me; components that my friends have
been able to zone in on.
Solid
friendships are hard to come by, at least for me. Friends are those
choice few people in your life who come to mind when you want to
share. Whether it be good news about a new job or hot guy that
started at work; bad news like those curve balls that life throws
your way every once in awhile; or sad news about tragedies in your
life or your newly broken heart. When those things hit you, you know
exactly who you need to talk to. Before you can even begin to wrap
your own head around it, you are already dialing his or her number
because you want them to know or you need help – their help, their
guidance, their thought process on how to handle it. It matters to
you what they think and how they feel. Their advice and opinion is
golden and it influences your thoughts and your reactions. Friends
are those select few who you have entrusted with the most
devastating, hurtful, and embarrassing moments in your life. They
are also the ones with whom you have shared the most beautiful,
loving and joyful moments.
People
who have entered my friend zone are among the most cherished persons
in my life. Outside of my family, they are in my thoughts
constantly. Even though life has a way of interrupting our time
together at times, we always seem to find each other again. They are
understanding, caring, compassionate people who I trust with some of
the most intimate facts of my life. And even though my numbers are
few, I feel incredibly fortunate. They help get me through this
thing called life, and I hope I do the same for them. I am
privileged to know them, to share their time, and I happily call them
“friend”.
