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(5-26)
Mermaid Says:
Sitting in our living room last week watching CNN and feeling miserable with the current state of affairs, my husband and I started hearing something out of the ordinary coming from outside. At first, we weren’t sure if what we were hearing was music or just neighbors having a good time outside as the weather was pretty nice. But after turning the volume down on the TV and listening a bit harder, we definitely heard something that did not sound quite right. Distressed calling out, a “help”, and other screams. Instinct hit, we both jumped up and headed outside. Something was definitely happening in our neighbor’s yard and it didn’t sound good. Without hesitation, my husband sprinted toward the gate around their yard while we both called out to see if we could get some direction from them as to what the problem was and whether or not the police should be called. Long story short, their new dog they just brought into the home was fighting with their older dog and they were trying to separate the two before too much damage was done. Happy to say that everything settled down and the damage was manageable to both animals and people.
As most of us do, we analyze situations after the fact and hindsight kicks in. What if this was a different scenario that my husband walked into…domestic violence say, with a weapon…? It could have been a very different outcome for everyone. I don’t think that would have changed his reaction, as that is just who he is, but it does open the question, what would you do if a call for help came? It reminded me of a show that used to be on television called exactly that, “What Would You Do?”. The host John Quiñones would put everyday people in situations using actors without their knowledge and film their responses and reactions. One episode I remember was filmed at a bar and a “couple” was on a date; the young lady got up to go to the restroom and the young man put something in her drink. When she returned, they waited to see if the other patrons seated at the bar who noticed this act would say anything to the young lady or simply not get involved. Luckily, several of the patrons chimed in to tell her not to drink her drink and outed the young man. But again, it does beg the question, what would you do?
Now, I think most people would like to think they would do the perceived “right” thing and help their fellow man or woman, but the world we live in today is quite dangerous. Scams and preying on good Samaritans is prevalent. How many times have we heard of the good Samaritan who jumps in to help and then turns around and gets sued for intervening, or worse, false cries for help are answered that lead to crimes being perpetrated on the one who answers the call. It definitely is a sad state of affairs knowing that you have to question yourself before you lend a hand or step in to help another human in need. The world today now forces people to question at times their inner human nature. Compassion and empathy for others seems rare these days and it is often exploited negatively creating a greater divide between us which goes against the very core definition of human. People need connection, feeling, emotion; it is fundamental to our growth and wellbeing.
To help or not to help, that is the question. For this mermaid, I’d like to think that I would help. My soul tells me that if I were the one calling out and needing someone, I would want someone to answer that door, come running, make the call, so why would I not do the same in return? Yes, it does come with inherent concern, but the thought of not answering that call and finding out that I could have helped, and chose not to…is a devastating thought; one that I do not think I could live with. It goes without saying that you don’t know how you would react until thrust into a particular situation. It is easy to sit here and say I would do this or that, but until it happens to you, it is an unknown. So, answer the call, don’t answer the call; get involved, don’t get involved; help, or not…what would you do?
Walrus Replies:
As always, my friend the Mermaid touches on interesting and relevant points in her writing projects. For myself, this question about responding to a perceived emergency of some sort brought back memories of being a salaried, retail business manager, and having to address situations such as these in a timely and direct manner. Usually, without any benefit of being forewarned or informed about the potential outcome.
On one occasion, I was called to the front end of store #696 regarding a fight in our side parking lot, which involved multiple young individuals. Patrons were frightened by this public spectacle, and chose to seek out those on our service counter, instead of calling for law enforcement. Something that when pondered with hindsight, seemed strange, as nearly everyone in our modern age carries some sort of cellular device. But upon being asked to handle the chaotic scuffle personally, I reacted with no hesitation. Not drawing upon any sense of heroism or strength, but simply because it was something I considered to be correct. As a professional steward for the store, a primary responsibility I had during every work shift was to guarantee the safety of all customers. Any threat, regardless of its nature, was a challenge to the free exercise of commerce, and ultimately, to my employer.
I could not tolerate such an affront to the owner and crew, and our shoppers.
I ran down our front sidewalk, and literally jumped off the high curb, right into the midst of this teeming mass. If there had been time to consider my move, perhaps I might have judged this choice more carefully. But in personal terms, I had been taught that meeting difficulties head-on was always better than allowing them to spiral out of control. Thus, I stood in the midst of a dozen or more angry young fellows, and made an appeal for calm.
“Whatever you are trying to settle here isn’t my concern. But the safe operation of this market definitely is, so, end your confrontation, and go home! Whoever loses today will be recruiting allies, and coming back for the rest of you, tomorrow. Keep that in mind, boys. Violence only breeds more of the same!”
My approach must have surprised the gang, who could have easily knocked me to the ground, and extracted a measure of revenge. But instead of lashing out, there were gasps of disbelief, and drooping heads. One by one, the gaggle of miscreant youth disappeared. Afterward, other members of our supervisory team thought that I must have lost my mind.
On another occasion, a drunken individual accosted our female Personnel Manager on the front end of location #6383, regarding check cashing privileges. He was so belligerent that one of the clerks surreptitiously called my cordless phone, a device I carried every day on a belt clip. She whispered a plea for help, into the handset at her station.
When I arrived, the offender was loud and unruly. He had backed my undersized cohort up against the countertop, and was waving a checkbook excitedly, as if to prove his own financial worth with visual evidence. I came in charging, with a stern appeal to his senses.
“Sir, we are here to serve your needs, but not to take abuse. You’ve got two choices right now, to leave quietly, or be dragged out in handcuffs. There is zero tolerance on the premises for anything else. Think carefully before making your decision!”
When the boozer attempted to argue, I reached for my network phone, immediately.
“I have the local police on speed dial. Do you want to take a ride in their cruiser?”
All the color drained out of his cheeks. He left without uttering another word.
At store #617, during my last assignment as a top-level manager, I was summoned by our Head Cashier, who had taken refuge in the office. A senior citizen with a poor disposition had become so agitated with one of the register clerks, that she literally broke down in tears. Following that, he walked to the Produce Department, and unleashed a torrent of insults at an employee about our Clementine oranges. When I stopped him for a chat regarding this unruly behavior, he attempted to intimidate me with complaints about our service protocols, and bad habits as a purveyor of edible goods. Once he had finished ranting, however, I pointed toward the sliding doors at our lobby entrance.
“This is like being on recess in school, do you understand? All the kids have to play nicely with each other. It’s mandatory for everybody. But I can see that you haven’t learned that lesson, just yet. So, here’s what it means, you have to leave the building immediately. Get out of here until you learn manners and courtesy from someone. Then you’ll be welcome to visit again!”
The shaggy, gray-haired individual could have easily been my grandfather. He was so astounded by my official judgment, that he started to sputter and curse. Words of contempt continued to echo, as he left in a huff. But the episode had ended.
In more recent times, as a retired member of my rural community, I heard a shriek of frustration from across the street. One of my neighbors, who appeared to be pregnant, had become distraught with her husband over an issue of family scheduling. He was, for whatever reason, on his way to some undisclosed destination. This jaunt seemed to have irritated his spouse, and she squawked out her opinions loudly enough that everyone on our avenue could hear.
Her male partner spoke in a tone that barely surpassed a whisper. I sat outside on my porch, sipping brew while remaining attentive. This rowdy diatribe resounded for several minutes, without changing in character. Eventually, the husband simply departed instead of escalating his marital dispute. An hour later, he was back in the driveway, and once again part of the household. No further signs of woe were evident.
I guessed that it was a moment of conflict that had passed without escalating. Still, my presence as an observer seemed useful, in case some form of rescue had been needed.
The Mermaid asks reasonably, “What would you do?” My answer is one offered in two parts. First, to assess the situation in real time, and with good judgement. And second, to play the role of a peacemaker and protector, as needed.
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