Friday, April 5, 2024

Trailer Park Vignettes – “Bible Boss, Part Two”


 


c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(4-24)

 

 

Linn Speck had recruited a respectable number of new members into his group for selling the Trump Bible. This venture brought household revenue that he and Haki, his wife, desperately needed. And it revived his image as an icon of religious faith at Evergreen Estates. Something that had been tarnished by impulsive outbursts involving other residents, such as Townshend Lincoln, the contrarian drunk. Yet one thorn remained deeply embedded in his flesh. The combative encounter with Darcy Trelane, who was obviously someone outside the norm at their trailer community. She chased Pokemon characters for entertainment, and sat at her gaming console for hours. Rarely leaving the spot by her window. Few other inhabitants of the park could remember her ever taking a walk, outside. Though when she did, on an infrequent basis, her short stature and plump physique immediately attracted attention. Dressed always in pajamas and pride apparel, she provided a billboard of sorts for student causes and counterculture habits associated with urban areas along Lake Erie.

 

In their rural township, she was an outsider that had never been welcome.

 

After voicing raw opinions about the former president and his MAGA followers, she had been outed as a target. That negative badge of notability meant that insults were shouted sometimes, from passing trucks and cars. Her walls would buzz with the rumble of diesel exhaust and spinning, muddy tires. Country music often reverberated from other trailers along her street. She was no longer an anonymous figure in the boxcar oasis.

 

Finally, Linn decided to call a meeting of concerned citizens, at their maintenance garage. He had received a second shipment of Bibles earlier in the day. So, this gathering served a dual purpose. The spartan workspace was stocked with folding chairs and coolers full of refreshments. Soon, many other residents had arrived. When enough bodies were in the seats, he stood at a makeshift lectern made out of pallet boards. And addressed those in attendance through an old karaoke machine.

 

“Before I start this meeting, here’s a reminder that I just got more copies of the Trump Bible from Mar-a-Lago! They are still only $59.99, if you haven’t bought one yet. I’ve also got membership applications for the sales crew. Don’t be left out! Join up, today!”

 

The mob of trailer folk responded with much enthusiasm.

 

“TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP! TRUMP!”

 

Their association leader pounded his fist on the wooden pulpit. His jowls turned ruddy.

 

“More importantly, I called everyone here to discuss a new issue that has arisen in our community. Many of you might have never heard of Miss Poindexter, the rainbow warrior who lives right up the street from Haki and myself. She is stealthy and very devious. But I can tell you that her loyalties lie with AntiFa, PFLAG of Cleveland, an LGBT advocate, and other such organizations. We are a godly bunch here, not the kind of believers to embrace those foreign ideas and lifestyles. So, I put this question to you all. Would you like to start a petition to evict her from this property? What is your opinion?”

 

Almost everyone in the room raised their hand.

 

“GET HER OUT! GET HER OUT! GET HER OUT!”

 

Maylene Jefka, senior matron of their park, sat in the front row. She wore a light sweater emblazoned with a gold cross and an identification of their local worship center. Her eyes were bright, and focused intently.

 

“You want to kick her out? Out of her family home? Out of our neighborhood?”

 

Haki rose to support her husband directly. She beamed with adoration for his idea.

 

“That overgrown kid sits at her computer, and stirs up trouble! She’s an invisible menace! I know that bad things have happened here, because of her nosey deeds! She can’t be content to simply live here, no! That isn’t enough. That girl is like a witch at the cauldron! Stirring up her evil brew, stirring, stirring, stirring!”

 

Linn made a sweeping gesture over his compliant flock.

 

“Amen, honey! We’ve got to be quick when defending the Lord and this trailer park. The Devil doesn’t hesitate! Neither should we in doing God’s work! I say we start taking signatures right here, and right now! Let me get a notebook, and some pens! When it’s complete, I’ll take the document to Dana Alvarez, our property manager. She’s a company stooge, nothing matters except getting the lot rent. But she’s shrewd enough to know that keeping the peace here matters! We don’t want outsiders moving in and taking over!”

 

The boisterous assembly loudly echoed his words.

 

“AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! AMEN!”

 

Granny May shook off this suggestion, with a shimmering bounce of gray curls on her head.

 

“Friends, I started reading the good book as a child, years before any of you were even born. My dad went to Europe, to fight Hitler and Mussolini. That was an epic battle! Oh my! We couldn’t be sure how things would turn out. Mother and I ran the farm in this township, and cared for my younger brothers and sisters. But our creator never abandoned his people. We were fighting for freedom, and goodness. For liberty, just like Washington and Lincoln held dear. That’s a just cause, I think! Friends standing together as one. Even when we all had different names, different traditions, and different plans. Being American was what mattered!”

 

A hush fell over the group. Suddenly, their reckless leader had nothing to say.

 

From a doorway at the back, a familiar outline appeared. One of a stooped fellow with twin canes, shaggy hair, and a cranky disposition. He reeked of beer and liquor. Yet spoke with authority as someone who had lived in his prefab hovel for two decades, and more.

 

“Linn, you also wanted to kick me out of this hole-in-the wall dump, right?”

 

His neighbor at the corner flushed with embarrassment. He nearly toppled from the perch while clutching his Bible.

 

“YES I DID! WE ALL WOULD’VE BEEN BETTER OFF IT THAT HAPPENED! BUT YOU RAISED TOO MUCH OF A STINK! PEOPLE FELT SORRY FOR YOU! I THOUGHT THAT WAS A MISTAKE!”

 

Lincoln shrugged and then continued his impromptu speech.

 

“See, I don’t know Darcy all that well. Nobody does. She’s a homebody. Maybe I see her out in the side yard once or twice during the summer. That’s okay with me, I don’t like people. I hear gossip about her preferences, and frankly, don’t give a shit. She’s never bothered anybody here. One time, she brought my trash barrel back up the ramp, when I was having a bad spell with my legs. On another occasion, her dad mowed my lawn when I couldn’t hook up with a nephew to get it done. Have you ever seen wild parties or protests at her trailer? I haven’t, even with being right next door. So, what’s your beef with her? You don’t understand how she lives? Hell, I don’t understand a lot of my neighbors. And I’ll say that I grew up a lot like you, or Maylene. I’m a regular sort of guy. A damn hillbilly! Meat-and-potatoes, you know? I don’t go for anything crazy. Still, that ain’t a slam at someone who sees things differently. This is a free land. We each do our own thing. Do you get that? It’s the core of our constitution and bill of rights. Don’t eff with me and I won’t eff with you!”

 

Skulls drooped all around the garage. A pervasive mood of guilt had taken hold.

 

Linn smacked the sides of his face.

 

“NO! NO! NO! NO! DON’T LISTEN TO THIS IDIOT! DON’T LISTEN! WE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN, WE CAN GET THAT UGLY BITCH OUT OF HERE! WITH ALL OF HER SCREWED-UP FRIENDS FROM THE COLLEGES IN CLEVELAND! THEY DON’T BELONG AT EVERGREEN ESTATES! THEY DON’T BELONG!”

 

Granny May stood up, and turned to face everyone.

 

“The Holy Bible says to pray for sinners. Jesus even made that clear, while hanging on the cross. Did I teach some of you that scripture maybe, in Sunday School? From Luke 23:34. ‘Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.’ Think about that and take it into your hearts!”

 

The gathering did not need a formal adjournment. Participants began to file out of the booming expanse, one by one. Their rally had come to an end.

 

Linn knocked over his crude lectern. He stomped off the platform in a fit of rage.

 

“THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING AGAIN! NO! NO! NO! NO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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