Kookshow, Chapter 10: Movies

 

c. 2025 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(7-25)

 

 

Kookshow Baby lived in a 1971 Schult mobile home, with a glorious bay window at the front end. Though I had seen similar trailers at Evergreen Estates, they were not in such pristine condition. The prevailing weather patterns in Ohio, along with a constant turnover of park residents, meant that older dwellings such as hers were generally trashed in my own neighborhood. So, I had to take pictures with my cell phone, while walking the perimeter of her makeshift lot, as a keepsake. On her front deck, I noticed a vintage thermometer hanging next to a small window by the entrance. It was one I had often wanted to find at a local flea market, thrift store, or yard sale. Called ‘The Original Jumbo Dial’ it carried a roadrunner design that made me think of watching Warner Brothers cartoons as a kid, with Wile E. Coyote. But despite being manufactured by the Ohio Thermometer Company, I had never managed to find one in my home state.

 

The inside furnishings and accessories were in keeping with what I expected. It appeared that the southern belle had left her living space much as it must have been, when occupied by previous members of the family. Wood paneling covered the walls. An oversized, console television sat in between floor lamps with vintage shades. The couch and loveseat were upholstered with fabric dyed in western colors. A suspended wagon wheel hung over the kitchen table, with festive lights all around. There were vinyl records, books and magazines everywhere. But more than anything, I noted a collection of VHS tapes, old videodiscs, and DVDs that seemed to have outgrown its original spot. They were strewn randomly around the living space, as if my host was constantly reviewing movies and television shows, for hire.

 

Kookshow giggled at my curiosity about her stash. She crossed her long legs, sitting on the sofa, and quizzed me about my tastes in entertainment.

 

“Alrighty, Rawd, what kind of things d’ya like to watch? If yer a Cult Radio fan, that’s got to mean y’all like all kinds of stuff off-the-beaten-path!”

 

I cleared my throat, and sat up straight in her recliner.

 

“Umm... well... I’m less of a film connoisseur than you might believe. Most people probably watch more of everything than I do... there are a few that stick in my mind though, for example, Psychomania, the British motorcycle thriller directed by Don Sharp. What I believe was the final appearance by George Sanders, he committed suicide after filming was completed. Nicky Henson plays the main character. And it has a killer soundtrack by John Cameron. It’s a cheesy flop of a cinematic statement, yet I pull it out every year on Halloween. I discovered it on a late broadcast from a New York City station, while I lived in the Finger Lakes...”

 

She snorted and wheezed with amusement.

 

“That one where the bike riders kill themselves and come back from the dead? Haw haw, what a hoot that was! Silly stuff! At least y’all must have a sense of humor!”

 

I nodded with agreement.

 

“Seeing the gang on their Limey two-wheelers resonated with me, as I grew up hearing stories about such motors from my father. He had a Norton Dominator twin and also a BSA Lightning. In addition to various Harley-Davidsons, Indians, and even an early Honda CB77, the Super Hawk...”

 

Kookshow chewed her lip, and raised an eyebrow.

 

“So, what else tickles yer innards?”

 

I had to ponder a bit to think of something she might find interesting.

 

“Another couple of movies discovered late at night were the Trinity westerns, with Bud Spencer and Terrence Hill. They Call Me Trinity, and Trinity Is Still My Name. Those are spaghetti classics. Lots of physical comedy, and fun music from the period...”

 

The scream queen tilted her head to one side, and frowned.

 

“What about TV? Ain’t y’all a fan of the small screen?”

 

I felt like a novice attempting to compete with a seasoned member of the press.

 

“I still watch pro wrestling, a habit picked up from one of my uncles who lived in West Virginia, and worked as a professional baker. The circus fakery, boasting promos, and acrobatics keep me paying attention. But just the other day, someone mentioned Quark with Richard Benjamin in a Facebook post. I actually loved that program, as a high school student. It spoofed the Star Trek paradigms, I thought... created by Buck Henry, who helped write Get Smart...”

 

My confession had her breathless. She grinned and whistled as I turned pale.

 

“Wrasslin’? Y’all really watch wrasslin’? My goodness, that’s fer kids, Rawd! A bunch of beefy dudes throwin’ their weight around in the ring! Each one tryin’ to sound tougher than the others, and all of ‘em lookin’ like goobers, for sure!”

 

I shrugged and lowered my head in contemplation.

 

“My favorite part is watching... umm... the femme fatales in spandex make their jumps and flips and such. As a matter of fact, I connected with Jeanne Basone thanks to a CRAGG episode, she was Hollywood on the old GLOW series, the Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling...”

 

Kookshow nearly spilled her sweet tea on the shag carpeting.

 

“Gawdamm, yer still a little boy at heart! Haw haw haw!”

 

“I’ve been living alone for 15 years, maybe that has contributed to my fascination with the genre, not sure. Not having the drama of a relationship has been fantastic, however...”

 

My benefactor narrowed her eyes, and gestured toward a stack of tapes on the floor, waiting to be reviewed.

 

“I help Terry and Tiffany go through the pile every week. We get a dang poopload of movies here, from little studios hawkin’ their work, and collectors sharing favorites. So, there’s bound to be something y’all would like to see. Hang around here long enough, and yer gonna soak up some interesting atmospherical craziness. It comes with the dang territory!”

 

I was intrigued by her invitation. For a moment, I actually forgot that my trucker associate would be ready to leave again, on Monday morning.

 

“I’ve got plenty of insane influencers back in Ohio. But the kind you describe sound a lot more appealing!”