Kookshow, Chapter 12: Inebriation

 

c. 2025 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(7-25)

 

 

I had not consumed hard liquor in several years. So, when Kookshow Baby began to raid her cabinets, for those kinds of strong libations, the sight of crystal bottles and drink glasses made me slightly uneasy. After retirement, I had continued to enjoy the taste of a brew on my front porch, during the afternoon and evening. But otherwise, limited my recreational refreshments in the interest of staying vertical. A fall in my living room had required an EMT crew to help get me off of the carpet. Something that was both embarrassing, and chastening, at the same time. A pledge of semi-temperance kept me grounded in good practices.

 

I did not want to slide back into dependency.

 

For a moment, I wondered about her intentions. But this mood of uncertainty passed quickly as she also began to sort through her collection of VHS tapes. In each stack, I saw titles that were familiar. Yet many of her movies and shows were so rare as to be completely unknown.

 

“Y’all kin help me go through these things, I’ll pick one and then it’s yer turn. We’ll trade off all night. How’s that sound, Rawd?”

 

I was intrigued by her suggestion.

 

“Yeah... okay... yeah! That’ll do it! I’m down for a good kettle of popcorn!”

 

Her first selection was ‘The Alligator People’ from 1959, a movie directed by Roy Del Ruth. I recalled seeing it once via my Roku, on some oddball channel. Starring were Beverly Garland, Bruce Bennett, and Lon Chaney, Jr. My new associate howled and whistled throughout the replay.

 

“This one always gets my skin crawling, it’s cheesy as heck, but mighty fun to watch! Those gator heads freaked me out as a little girl!”

 

When the time came for me to make a selection, I noticed that she had a comp of ‘Dangerous Assignment’ episodes with Brian Donlevy. A series directed by Bill Karn, that had begun on radio, and transferred to television as the medium grew in popularity. Having originally aired in 1951-52, they were primitive by modern standards, but full of vintage appeal. I could not help gushing praise while we watched.

 

“I used to see these on a channel called ‘24/7 Retro.’ They ran lots of early productions, like ‘The Public Defender’ with Reed Hadley, and ‘Lock-Up’ with Macdonald Carey. Even Beverly Garland whom we just saw, as an undercover cop in ‘Decoy’ from 1957-58. I really liked that one, it was unusual at the time to see a woman in such a role...”

 

Kookshow was wide-eyed and spellbound.

 

“Damnnnn, I never got around to seein’ that show. I’ll have to pick up a copy somewhere!”

 

Her next choice was ‘Frankenstein Meets the Space Monster’ from 1965, directed by Robert Gaffney. Featuring James Karen, Marilyn Hanold, Robert Reilly, and Lou Cutell. A trashy bit of cinematic abandon that I had seen as a young kid. My host howled with laughter despite the chaos being depicted.

 

“Everybody gets blowed up in the end, doggone it! What a mess! I think the android is kinda handsome though, even with only half of his face!”

 

Sorting through her video treasures, I discovered another compilation of early television gems.  Specifically, a retrospective of Boston Blackie, the Ziv series with Kent Taylor, Lois Collier, and Frank Orth. Because it ran from 1951-53, the production had been largely forgotten by the time I was born. Yet as with other favorites, I had managed to view reruns on my Roku.

 

“The dog’s name was Whitey. I got a chuckle out of that. But the formal introduction stayed in my mind, ever after. It was delivered by a dude at a newspaper stand. ‘Danger! Excitement! Adventure! Boston Blackie – Enemy to those who make him an enemy. Friend to those who have no friends. That’s Boston Blackie, and he’s quite a guy!”

 

The southern belle snickered at my dramatic interpretation.

 

“Y’all shoulda been on the air like Terry DuFoe. I like the sound of yer voice, Rawd!”

 

Next, we watched a black-and-white print of ‘Alphaville’ from 1965, which was directed by Jean-Luc Godard and starred Eddie Constantine. I had seen it once because of my Channel 13 co-host Manic McManus, who was a member of the Cornell University Film Club. It was stark and somewhat shocking for those of us who were more familiar with traditional works of science fiction. Yet debate over its merits has lasted for generations.

 

Kookshow wrinkled her nose while watching.

 

“I never have figured it out, y’all. Was he makin’ a damn joke, or what? Was it supposed to be a spoof of regular stuff? It’s a mystery to me, boy!”

 

I reflected on getting my friend Janis to sit through a showing of ‘Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!’

 

“That was how my erstwhile friend in Ohio reacted to seeing Tura Satana and her gang on the big screen. She sat in silence throughout the movie. Then exclaimed defiantly, after it had concluded, ‘That sucked!’ Her reaction made me chortle and grin. It did not resonate with her at all...”

 

By that point in our session, it was long after dark, and the wash of bourbon had sapped my endurance. I fell backward on her sofa, and began to snore lightly. She however, was still perky and motivated. The contrast between us caused friction that I did not welcome. Yet I was fading quickly. She tapped her long, red nails on the wooden, console TV.

 

“Alrighty, old man. I get it, y’all don’t have the juice to keep on keepin’ on. Just one more tape, and then I’ll hit the hay. Is that a deal?”

 

My eyelids were dropping. I had no energy left to argue.

 

“Yeah, okay...”

 

She had reached the bottom of a pile leaning against her white-brick, faux fireplace, when a colorful package appeared with the illustration of motorcycle gangs in combat. The title of ‘Outlaw Riders’ blazed in a red script.

 

“I’ve never played this one, Rawd! It says the thing was directed by Tony Huston and stars Bryan West, Darlene Duralia, and William Bonner. Who the hell are they?”

 

Her question was out of my league. But I remembered that my friend Paul Race in New York had been a fan of the soundtrack, even without ever seeing the movie.

 

“I’ve got that album on vinyl... it’s a killer document of Hard Rock music, despite being so obscure. I think it came out in 1971...”

 

Both of us fell asleep as the VHS cartridge worked its magic. I entered oblivion with traces of whiskey still lingering in my beard. Morning would bring a new day, and a discussion about what to do when my scheduled departure was at hand.

 

For the first time, I actually considered ditching my return trip to the Buckeye State.