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c. 2025 Rod Ice
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(8-25)
After wallowing for days and weeks in thoughts of Kookshow Baby, Seattle’s Old Drunken Buzzards, and the NYC music company Bowery Beat Records, I needed some sort of diversion to clear my head. Normally, a first choice would be to sit on my front porch, imbibing beverage alcohol in some form. Yet when I decided to have a cook out with my Weber, kettle grill, the smoke and tantalizing aroma attracted too much attention. I had gotten a deal on Five Star premium hot dogs and country-style ribs, at a local purveyor of foodstuffs in Geneva. A friendly depot situated near the lake. But that feast represented a bounty that could not be hidden. In addition to attracting the attention of neighbors, it also had canine pets and stray cats visiting my safe space. More foot and paw traffic than I desired.
As a diversion, this interlude worked for the moment. But I needed a quieter, more relaxing break from thoughts of distant contacts and business opportunities.
Finally, in the wee hours of a Thursday morning, I logged onto my eBay account. I figured that scrolling through entries for beer signs, concert shirts, vintage books, and such would offer the sort of mental escape I needed. But with a hint of barbecued frankfurters still hanging in the air, I happened to type in search terms that related to that common delicacy.
As a result, new entries popped up in my timeline for recordings by the oddball guitar hero from rural West Virginia, Hasil Adkins. There were at least four compact discs that I had never seen before, on independent imprints.
Hasil Adkins, Live in Chicago
Pravda Records
Product ID: 24046081232
“The Haze recorded live at Chicago’s legendary Lounge Ax. No overdubs, just Hasil Adkins’ one man band cranking out song after song of whiskey soaked insanity. These legendary 1992 performances are classic, bizarre... Haze originals and covers. A document of a true original.”
Hasil Adkins, What the Hell Was I Thinking
Fat Possum Records
Product ID: 3046066006
“Tracks: Your Memories/Ugly Woman/No Shoes/You’re Gonna Miss Me/Beautiful Hills/Stay With Me/Somehow You’ll Find Your Way/Gone Gone Gone/Up on Mars/Talkin’ to My Lord”
Hasil Adkins, Look At That Caveman Go!!
Norton Records
Product ID: 3065755
“The one-man band and his happy guitar, recorded live”
Hasil Adkins, Achy Breaky Ha Ha Ha
Norton Records
Product ID: 3046063274
“Tracks: Put My Guitar Away Mommy/White Dove/Leaves in the Autumn/I Still Miss Someone/Gonna Have Me A Yard Sale/Twenty Eight Years/River of Jordan/It’ll Be Me/Will You Miss Me/Song of Death/Of Course Not/She Thinks I Still Care/I Hear a Sweet Voice Calling/Tomorrow I’ll Still Be Loving You/You Win Again/Turn Around”
Not surprisingly, I wanted every one of these audio artifacts. In addition to more rarities that were listed. But at the moment, I was financially depleted, and already falling deep into credit-card oblivion. So, instead of making any purchases, I logged off and fell asleep in the desk chair.
From the netherworld of slumbering visions, a snappy, snare rhythm and the clap of a hi-hat sounded as I was snoring. I could hear the psychobilly strains of ‘Chicken Walk’ and ‘She Said’ echoing across the cosmic divide between this world and the next. In addition to his frightening classic which references decapitation, ‘No More Hot Dogs.’
Then, stanzas of verse began to appear in my head. I awakened while still sitting at the keyboard. Though stiff and groggy from this brief siesta, I started to type out a literal interpretation of what had just transpired, while it remained in focus.
The Haze
When I go out for good
I’ll be singing my anthem
Like a rowdy, raucous kid
I’ll be jamming those chords
Through a reverb-spring roar
Just like Hasil Adkins did
One foot on the drum pedal
One hand plucking strong
No need to keep it hid
You’ll hear a wild dog bark
Down at the trailer park
Just like Hasil Adkins did
I might have been out of line
That’s what the preacher said
He damn near flipped his lid
But when he opened the good book
And had another look
It was just what Hasil Adkins did
God help me, friends
I took a break at the auction house
Yelled out with my bid
A Boone County troubadour
On the porch of a country store
Just like Hasil Adkins did
Hotwired and out of gas
I barely made it home
Down the mountain on a greasy skid
But when the hillbilly stomp
Turned into a backwoods swamp
It was just what Hasil Adkins did
That fingerstyle fool
Made it up on his own
Doing things that the law forbids
He cranked up a tube-amp shock
Sitting on a cinder block
That’s what Hasil Adkins did
How that country freaker
Ever got to be famous
I can’t say without being glib
But I’m always on the job
If we’re playing down at Pine Knob
Just like Hasil Adkins did
Hot dogs and such
Chicken walk and a push-in
It made him sound like a whiz kid
But he was making a spoof
That’s the God’s honest truth
That’s what Hasil Adkins did
They say he inspired
A generation of troubled folk
Who wanted to get rid
Of stale, stammering downbeats
And busking on the main street
Just like Hasil Adkins did
Maybe I took it lightly
That swim through deep water
He hit the ocean like a giant squid
But once the rhythms went raw
Like teeth on a buzzsaw
It was just what Hasil Adkins did
I won’t tell you twice
One time fits the moment
Came rockin’ right out of his crib
He hammered strings and howled
A crazed country fowl
That’s what Hasil Adkins did
When I hear he’s an unknown
It’s gets me feeling righteous
Everybody ought to cut that jib
His style was inspirational
Boneshaking and sensational
That’s what Hasil Adkins did
Out from under a rock
He didn’t need to be trained-up
The music he made was a coin flip
Take it, or leave it
If you can believe it
That’s what Hasil Adkins did
Frets start a-buzzing
When he’s ready to testify
Joy juice, and tobacco spit
Take your place at his feet
Make this day complete
That’s what Hasil Adkins did
The world is poorer
To know he is gone
But they made a minstrel from his rib
A towering plucker
A 6-string mother-trucker
That’s what Hasil Adkins is
That’s what Hasil Adkins did...
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