“Empty Wallet Bargain”

  

c. 2026 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(3-26)

 

Note to Readers: These lyrics came to mind today, for a rollicking, Rolling Stones sort of Rock anthem. With a twanging guitar and lots of barrelhouse piano in full force.

 

I was lost by the lake, in downtown Cleveland

In a place where old men should never go

It had been too long since I had that feeling

Of a concrete king, in a leather tuxedo

My last ride till dawn, was sure to deliver

A thrill like I could not remember for years

I ran out of gas, by the Cuyahoga River

With a sputter of silence, and grinding gears

Now I saw a young maiden, strutting on heels

Too far removed from the stadium lights

She said, “Hire me quick, for whatever appeals!”

It was the best thing I heard that night

With a fifty-dollar bill crumpled in my hand

I stood and stared as she twirled like a princess

“Call your shot, big hillbilly man!”

What sealed the deal was her caress

She took every cent that I had left

I should have tanked-up, and headed for home

Now I’m walking my way back to loneliness

With a brand-new rattle, for these ragged old bones

 

An empty wallet bargain, one made like a boozer

I sold my soul to remember that vibe

The fancy feeling of a lover, not a loser

In my cowboy boots, got nothing to ride

 

A younger self, street-stranded on a corner

Might have laughed at her seedy, sales pitch

But I fell easily for this public performer

A hunting prize for a professional bitch

She had an offer, I hadn’t heard in years

One designed to get my eyes crossed, and more

When the play finished, I had a wallet in arrears

And a gnawed-up sensation like an apple core

I surely knew better than to take such a risk

With a daring damsel wearing fishnets and spandex

But foolish pride made me flex my wrist

And pull out a bankroll of government checks

A better design would have funded my good time

Put me back in the saddle, for a kick

But the momentary impulse of a sinner and sweet wine

Brought out temptation, with rouge and lipstick

When it was over, I had to pinch my nose

Though that rush was one I surely missed

I gave up the ghost for a stomp in the shadows

A squeeze of my jewels and a lively kiss

 

An empty wallet bargain, one made like a boozer

I sold my soul to remember that vibe

The fancy feeling of a lover, not a loser

In my cowboy boots, got nothing to ride

 

Back at the ranch, in a far-eastern county

I never admitted what had transpired

It took a friend with a wrecker and a bounty

To get my bike rolling, on a fresh set of tires

The mood I was in, lasted long enough to please

I had to figure it was worth the distress

The calling card was a swivel to her knees

And clingy, cat claws, ripping through her dress

It seemed assured, we wouldn’t meet again

A chance encounter, when we eloped

A change of pace, for a pay-date friend

A temporary tease, a tug at the rope

But on cold nights when I’m in my neighborhood

That story might still come to mind

And cause a smile to spread for the good

Reflecting on that revival of old times

I won’t gasp with guilt, just a bashful boy

A jumping jones, with mad respect

I won a blue ribbon from that streetwalking decoy

And hiked on home, with a tight-hanging turkey neck

 

An empty wallet bargain, one made like a boozer

I sold my soul to remember that vibe

The fancy feeling of a lover, not a loser

In my cowboy boots, got nothing to ride