“Put Your Purse Down Sally!”

c. 2018 Cheryl Kelly

All rights reserved

(12-18)

Okay, so life has it’s way of throwing some curve balls. If you’re lucky, your dodging abilities are on point, but most of us, who hated dodge ball in elementary school, never quite grasped those skills and have ended up taking those hits to the face time and time again. There does come a point, however, in one’s life when you turn that corner and pick up the ball and throw it right back. It’s a skill that I believe does come with age and with wisdom, for lack of a better way to put it. That point you reach in your life where you put your purse down and wail away.

Like everything, this isn’t the case for everyone, as everyone does handle life and the challenges it dishes out differently, but I do think that as we get older, our perspective changes. It is no longer acceptable to be unhappy, or to waste time in an unhappy situation. It is no longer okay to put yourself last always, to settle for less than you deserve. Now I realize that this sounds a bit selfish, and perhaps that’s true. But who said that being selfish has to always have a negative connotation to it? What is so wrong with looking out for yourself?

Now I’m not saying to swing the pendulum clear in other direction, where you mistreat others for your own personal gain. I’m talking about making time for yourself, making yourself a priority, and allowing yourself to demand more; not only more from yourself, but also more from others who you let into your life. Is that so wrong? Is it wrong to have those expectations? Are we just setting ourselves up for more failure and hits to the face?

I don’t think so...I like to think that the more we demand from ourselves and those we love and care about, the more we grow and the closer we get to real happiness. If we have no expectations of ourselves or others, than the same old behaviors and actions that at times were not working, just continue to be acceptable...and we end up stuck in a rut, losing precious time. And if life has taught us anything as humans over and over again, it’s that the time you think you have, does not exist. Anything can happen at any moment that changes your life in an instant.

The next challenge is to decide how to begin...how to begin looking at things differently, how to begin to put steps in place to change the way you handle yourself and others, and to just stop being okay with less than you deserve. It’s important to be honest with yourself enough to know when you’re missing something and are unhappy with someone or something in your life. And then the challenge is to communicate to those around you letting them know what you need, how you feel and what you want. Lastly, you need to be prepared to let go, accept change, and know that change is difficult and takes time to adjust.

It’s a daunting task to evaluate your life, and even more intimidating to know that there are things that need to change if you’re going to grow. As you get older, I believe that task does get easier if for no other reason than you have learned over the years after taking those hits over and over; that life is short, and even shorter to spend it unhappy and unfulfilled. It becomes time to stop settling for anything that does not bring a positive into your life; time to move yourself away from people who don’t meet you half way and put forth the same effort that you, yourself give.

So, put your purse down Sally and throw some punches back!