Saturday, February 24, 2024

Trailer Park Vignettes – TrailerCakes (Part Four)

 



c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(2-24)

 

 

Evergreen Estates proved to be a perfect launching pad for the TrailerCakes website. But more than simply being a convenient physical location for the underground business, it had offered real inspiration for Dremel Kongin. His reward in landing at the rural village of mobile homes was a two-sided coin. He felt humiliated and debased by living in such a dirty environment. And yet had learned valuable lessons, that made success and amassing wealth truly possible.

 

Now, he could escape. That was the upshot of his plan, from the very beginning.

 

Kimmie Tickle was his biggest star on the CheeseCakes partition. She had saved money somehow, while working as a waitress at a nearby travel plaza. Slinging bacon, eggs, and hashbrowns to the truckers who visited paid her well enough to put a few dollars aside, each week. She had entrepreneurial skills that were rarely seen in the neighborhood. Eventually, her stash of spendable funds paid for breast implants at a clinic in Cleveland. She was already pretty enough, with a European bloodline gifting her in many ways. Not the least of which was with large, deep eyes that caused lustful fantasies to be aroused online and at their isolated burgh, on a regular basis. Yet the artificial swelling of her bosom tipped the scales. After a quick recovery, she strutted around their junkyard community with a new sense of confidence. Male tongues hung out of open mouths on every street. Drool dripped and catcalls resounded. Even some lesbian admirers were moved enough to shout their approval, despite the public MAGA social and political paradigm.

 

Her photographs and videos featured lots of lingerie, heels, leather, and erotic cosplay. With friends participating who were also blessed with a wealth of feminine charms.

 

She seemed to be a likely candidate to control the salacious, cyber empire. He only needed to figure out a way to propose this takeover, logically.

 

Weeks passed as his bank account grew fatter with each deposit. Then, Dremel was ready. He reached out through a messenger app on his cell phone. The young woman agreed to meet with him, next to the maintenance garage. A place where, after hours, they would be inconspicuous enough to talk freely.

 

He still remembered Stan Finkel’s warning about the FBI. Perhaps his extended hut was bugged? He couldn’t be sure.

 

After scoping out his surroundings, the nerdy engineer pulled his red Prius close to a tall set of bay doors, in front of their official repair center. Kimmy reversed her yellow Jeep into a space that corresponded longitudinally. Both left-side windows faced each other. She lit a menthol cigarette, and relaxed in her bucket seat before offering a formal greeting. Her 80’s mane was full of blonde highlights. Her long, glistening nails curled around the steering wheel.

 

“Alright cowboy, y’all wanted to do a face-to-face, so here I am. What’s the deal? You got some wild hair up your ass, or did ya just want to look at my pumped-up hooters?”

 

The techno wizard reddened a bit, with embarrassment. He was still in a sweatshirt and pants from three hours earlier, when neighbor kids wanted to play a pickup game of basketball.

 

“Look Kim, I’ll be totally straight with you. The first thing on my mind when both feet hit the ground here was getting out. I never wanted to live in a glorified shipping container. This isn’t my kind of place. I belong in California, maybe. Or at least a better district around Lake Erie. This has been hell, listening to diesel trucks and shitkicker tunes all day, every day...”

 

The budding model cackled and flicked ashes out of her window.

 

“Y’all sound like a gawdamm sissy! But I think yer cute in a funny sort of way. In high school, I used to like teasing boys with pencil necks and a gangly build. I figured they were wetting their gym shorts! Girls grow up faster at that age. It don’t look like yer fully mature, even now! When do you shave that mug of yours, once a week?”

 

Dremel stroked his angular chin. It felt like sandpaper.

 

“Let’s stay on the subject. I’m bringing in a big haul of gold every month. It’s crazy how much this sketchy venture has paid off. But I want out. Out of this park, and out of the porn biz. I’m headed back to the real world. Maybe dabbling in the stock market or selling financial products for an investment firm. Anything that’ll get me off this cursed little piece of land...”

 

His potential successor bit her lip and frowned. She did not deliver the reaction he had anticipated.

 

“GET OUT? SO, WHO’D RUN THE DAMN WEBSITE, CHIEF? THAT’S A JOB AND A HALF, I BET!”

 

The college graduate snorted and gestured with his right hand.

 

“You, woman! It’s the best solution for both of us, you’ve got spunk like Calamity Jane. I could see you riding a horse, bareback. With a rifle in your hand!”

 

Kimmie gasped and rolled her eyes. She breathed so hard that her overloaded bra straps nearly burst from the strain.

 

“ME? ARE Y’ALL TOUCHED IN THE HEAD? I’VE NEVER RUN ANYTHING BUT A RESTAURANT KITCHEN, OR THE DINING ROOM. I’D BE LOST LOOKING AT UTILITY BILLS AND P&L STATEMENTS AND ALL THAT KIND OF BULLSHIT! THAT’S WHY I DIDN’T EARN A DEGREE LIKE Y’ALL DID! YER LOSING IT, BUD!”

 

Her benefactor was surprised and frustrated. Beads of sweat appeared on his pale forehead.

 

“No, no, no! You can do it, trust me! I’ll teach you the tricks of management. I did some student teaching at Cuyahoga Community College. You’re a much faster learner than many of those inner-city troublemakers, who got sent to me as a part of their probation with the court...”

 

The rowdy femme stubbed out her smoke in an ashtray under the dashboard.

 

“LOOK HERE, STOOGE! IF Y’ALL WANT ME TO SHEPHERD YER INVESTMENTS IN THIS STINKHOLE, I’LL NEED YA TO HANG AROUND AS A SILENT PARDNER! I COULDN’T SWING IT ON MY OWN. I’D NEED TO KNOW Y’ALL WERE AVAILABLE 24/7, WITH ADVICE AND SUPPORT. KEEP YER CUT OF THE TAKE, AND HANG AROUND. I DON’T GIVE A DAMN IF YA MOVE AWAY TO THE CITY, JUST DON’T GO TOO FAR!”

 

Dremel cleared his throat and slouched sideways, in the little Toyota hybrid.

 

“I want out of this dump! Out all the way! Out! Out! Out!”

 

His prospect pounded her steering wheel with both fists clenched.

 

“NO, DAMMIT! I SAID NO! Y’ALL STAY IN THE LOOP, OR IT’S NO DICE FROM ME!”

 

Her suitor hung his bulbous head in defeat. Realizing that he would never be able to sever his connection to the crumbling development made him wallow in a pool of sadness. He cursed in a whisper, while throwing up his hands.

 

“Okay, okay. You win. I’ll be your shadow. You handle the day-to-day ops. I’ll be waiting in the wings, if you get stuck. Can we call it a deal?”

 

Kimmie reached through her open window, and patted him playfully on the arm.

 

“It’s a deal, tenderfoot! Thanks for thinking of me. I’ll do ya proud, its guaranteed. Sit back, and watch the money roll in! We’ve got a damn deal!”

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