TPV Chapter 25: Arrest

 

c. 2025 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(1-25)

 

 

Aimes Hefti slept restfully after confronting his drunken foe at Evergreen Estates. This triumphant experience gave him hope that perhaps, the alcoholic hermit might finally choose to leave their neighborhood, willingly. It was a goal that he, association leader Linn Speck, and many others had focused upon for several years. Something that would represent a cleansing of their trailer village.

 

But as the first hint of sunrise began to peek through a cloudy sky over the boxcar oasis, suddenly, a sharp knock and shouted warnings sounded from his front steps.

 

“THIS IS THE SHERIFF’S DEPARTMENT! WE HAVE AN ARREST WARRANT FOR THE OCCUPANT OF YOUR MOBILE HOME! PRESENT YOURSELF WITH BOTH HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK! DO IT NOW! OTHERWISE, WE WILL BREAK DOWN THIS DOOR AND TAKE YOU BY FORCE!”

 

The militia commander was only half-awake, and still in his camouflage boxers. He struggled out of bed, and nearly tripped over his combat boots. His crew cut tingled with oozing sweat.

 

“What the hell? Y’all got the wrong lot number! I’m not making meth or downloading underage porn, or anything crazy. Check yer court order, deputies!”

 

There was a brief debate outside, and then the frame of his entryway split in a violent burst of splintering lumber.

 

Sheriff Tom T. Rath had proactively dressed in full battle gear. He led a SWAT team of beefy, burly men. The group surged into a hallway by the living room. Then, their target appeared, tugging up his shorts with embarrassment. The law professional raised his right elbow, and slammed the suspect into an interior wall.

 

“YOU HAD TO DO IT, DIDN’T YOU? YOU JUST HAD TO GO OVER AND MESS WITH THAT OLD FELLOW AT LOT 13! NICE WORK, COMPADRE! NOW I’VE BEEN DIRECTED TO PUT YOUR BUTT IN THE COUNTY JAIL!”

 

Aimes was puzzled and defiant. He babbled excuses while hopping on bare feet.

 

“What, that crusty dick ratted me out? All I did was rattle the cage of a dirty cripple! Nothing serious, believe me! If he cried about getting shaken up, then fuck him! He’s a gawdamm pussy! Y’all know I’m right!”

 

Rath frowned and growled under his breath.

 

“Granny Maylene made the call. You got her so upset that she couldn’t sleep last night. Come on, you know she’s connected to almost everybody in this township! I could’ve ignored another complaint. Even one from Link himself. I might’ve figured it was a matter of boozing and falling on his face. But that gray-headed woman carries a boatload of prestige, out here. If I slacked in my duties, there’d be mud coming from the trustees and commissioners. I don’t need that kind of trouble. Submit yourself to being handcuffed! Let’s get this done!”

 

The militant extremist raised his middle finger. He was in no mood to become a prisoner.

 

“CUFFED? SCREW THAT, SHERIFF! IF ANYBODY DESERVES TO GET DRAGGED OUTTA HERE ON THEIR ASS, IT’S THAT SLOBBERING, BULL-HEADED PIECE OF SHIT! BY GOD, HE NEEDS A BULLET RIGHT BETWEEN THE EYES!”

 

The department chief sighed heavily, and patted his sidearm in its holster.

 

“Look buddy, I’ll decide who needs a popgun blast, and who doesn’t. You ought to stand down, and agree to come along with me. I’ll get you booked and fingerprinted, and out on bail, if that’s agreed to by the judge. Everybody knows your reputation around this part of Ohio. Maybe you’ll even get a pardon from Governor Moerlein, who knows? He’s sympathetic to anybody on our side of the aisle...”

 

Hefti slouched his stance, and turned around, submissively.

 

“I’m confused about yer attitude, man! Y’all think like I think, and believe what I believe. So, why get yer balls in an uproar about a lonely, hairy, asshole who lives by himself? He ain’t one of us, y’all know it! That yard of his was the only one in November without a MAGA sign in the grass!”

 

The sheriff coughed into his fist, and reddened a bit. He did not want to have a conversation about politics.

 

“My job is to serve this county. I don’t make policy, and I don’t give out opinions or advice. I follow the law, and nothing more. That’s my mandate from the people. It’s how our system works. Now I know you’d like to take up arms and change a lot of things. But it’s a matter of Congress, and the courts, and our system of checks and balances. You want to mess with that? Good luck. Maybe I’d even agree with some, or most, of your plans. But where we don’t agree is on the execution. I’m bound by the rule of law. That means something to me, and to the citizens of this whole area. They count on us to do good. Why don’t you dump the war footing, and go on a speaking tour? Tell people what you’ve got in mind. Let them make the choice...”

 

The militia head burst into an unbridled fit of laughter. His wrists were crossed, and he offered no further resistance to being apprehended.

 

“YER A DAMN COMEDIAN, TOM! RULE OF LAW? WE’VE JUST HAD FOUR YEARS OF EVERY LAW ON THE BOOKS BEING SHOVED UP OUR HIND ENDS! WHO PAYS ATTENTION TO THE REAL LAW? THE CRIME FAMILY THAT LET ILLEGALS STREAM ACROSS THE SOUTHERN BORDER? THE COWARDS WHO RAN OUT OF AFGHANISTAN, WITH BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN GUNS AND EQUIPMENT, AND OUR ALLIES, LEFT BEHIND? THE LAWFARE AND RAIDS DIRECTED AT A GUY THAT ACTUALLY GAVE A SHIT ABOUT AMERICA? LEFTIST FREAKS SOBBING ABOUT PRONOUNS, TRANS BARBIE DOLLS, PLAYING POKEMON, AND RIDING UNICORNS COVERED IN GLITTER? GO AHEAD, TELL ME HOW THAT WORKS! TELL ME STRAIGHT UP! Y’ALL ARE NUTS!”

 

Sheriff Rath struck the loud-mouthed combatant across his teeth. He had heard enough.

 

“Simmer down, soldier! I’ve listened to plenty of small talk about your preferences and passions. You’re about to take a ride to the Geauga County Safety Center. Save that hot breath for the other perpetrators in your cell. You’ll need it, trust me! My jailhouse isn’t a hotel. You won’t like being a guest there! I guarantee it!”