Tuesday, February 6, 2024

“Breakout Rhyme”

 


c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(2-24)

 

 

Rhymes for a reason

Though the cause might seem hard to detect

Sitting alone with my memories

Of a planned existence bound to a paycheck

I did that jive for so long

That when the ride ended, it left me oddly out of sync

I wasn’t ready for that merry-go-round

To drop me rudely in the drink

 

Rhymes for a reason

A split from the duty bestowed at birth

I had to renegotiate my own existence

Had to convince myself there was a greater worth

It kept me trembling at night

I didn’t know how to move at my own pace

When standing before the mirror’s display

I had to guess which ink blot represented my face

 

Rhymes for a reason

This thought of choosing seemed strange at first

I never had that option among my peers

Never had that quizzical intellectual burst

My brain bolted halfway through the maze

It left me empty-headed in a corridor, confused

I had to relearn the art of introspection

A talent I had not often used

 

Rhymes for a reason

Stepping out on the first day after sunrise

I had to cover my face until the glare became tolerable

Crouching low, on the outside

This thaw of spring made me giddy

Leaping and laughing like a woodland gnome

But after running boldly across the pasture

I couldn’t find my way home

 

Rhymes for a reason

Now a scholar, studiously seeking new texts

Searching through scrolls of lessons to unlearn

Counting platitudes I now must forget

It isn’t easy once the mold has been broken

Like an eggshell, from the barnyard crate

An amoeba of protein growing quickly

To end up on my dinner plate

 

Rhymes for a reason

Kissed before going off to school

The journey was not far in distance

But great enough, for a zig-zagging fool

I was naïve in the breach

And not much wiser stepping out for the first time

I had to get my legs under me, strong and sure

Standing tall on the chalk line

 

Rhymes for a reason

Echoing in a place where voices rarely speak

The set paradigm is to hear truisms being offered

Not to argue over what we repeat

Once I gave myself the reckless liberty

To wonder aloud about our emperor’s new clothes

The crack of correction came down swiftly

Like a cry of a condor in its death throes

 

Rhymes for a reason

Now that jingle of keys in the schoolhouse lock has ended

Spending time at my desk, stashing gum under the seat

Is a trick I have cleverly amended

The newer version comes as I have found a hole in the fence

A gap through which I was able to squeeze

Since that day I have been a freeman vagabond

No longer on my knees

 

Rhymes for a reason

A jester jumping joyfully through hoops no more

Done with praying for merciful spite

To pin me with a dart, laid out on the killing floor

I won’t claim that this quest has been easy

Escaping Egypt with a belly unfed

But the glory of knowing I made it out, by chance

Keeps me safe in my bed

Monday, February 5, 2024

Trailer Park Vignettes – “Streetwalker” (Part Two)


 


c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(2-24)

 

 

Townshend Carr Lincoln had been cooped up in his trailer at Evergreen Estates since November of the previous year. Seasonal patterns kept his neighborhood either soaked throughout cold, rainy days, or buried under drifts of snow when winter was truly in effect. But now, groundhog star Buckeye Chuck had predicted an early spring. February temperatures soared on his inset porch, with a gleam of sunlight suddenly present once again. This unexpected change had found him supercharged with hopeful vibes. He dug into the household stash of liquor varieties, and opened a new 12-pack of Narragansett Lager. A brewery product from Rhode Island that had somehow found its way to one of the local food emporiums where he was a regular patron.

 

Their community of mobile homes had brightened immediately, when Mother Nature dispensed her blessing of better weather. Residents up and down the street had started cleaning their lots, washing cars, bagging refuse, and busying themselves with outdoor activities. An exercise undertaken while knowing that before long, sub-freezing conditions were likely to return.

 

Participating in this celebration was Gina Marie Puchevsky. Still an intriguing yet mysterious figure in their boxcar development.

 

With his nose tingling after a swig of Jack Daniel’s, Lincoln noted that the new arrival on his cracked-up boulevard had decided to spruce up her big-tired, yellow Jeep. The tall, leggy woman was wearing a spandex outfit with racer stripes down the sides, hued in fluorescent orange. Her red hair had been teased out to the point of an 80’s extreme. She crouched and kicked her way around the vehicle with a sponge and bucket, while hits from Mötley Crüe played on her wi-fi receiver. A Marlboro cigarette dangled from her painted lips.

 

The old loner felt his pulse beginning to rise. She reminded him of someone seen only in photographs sent into the electronic void of cyberspace. A person he loved as a parent, but did not want to ponder in such direct terms.

 

A line of familiar pickup trucks passed individually, as Gina polished her off-road champ, and danced to the Heavy Metal classics. She would disappear inside her home for brief interludes in between cleaning chores, and reappear counting treasury bills with unfamiliar presidents depicted. Each return from inside seemed to have her revealing more flesh and fashionable accents. Eventually, she wore nothing but an oversized running shirt, and fishnet leggings. The last hauler in her caravan of customers was a lifted Ram 3500, with Cummins diesel power under its hood. The driver was a young stud, short of stature, but running hot on liquid courage. He had a local Country station blaring from his in-dash radio. His eyes were bloodshot and narrow like slits.

 

“Hey Ginnie! I heard you know how to take care of a cowboy! Whoo damn! What the goin’ price fer a hook-up in this park?”

 

Soap suds dripped from the feral femme’s unruly mane. She had grown tired after a long day of earning money to pay off her overdue account.

 

“That’s Gina, dumbass! Don’t flap your trap here on the street! We can talk about shit over a Seagram’s cooler, if you want. Park next door, that spot has been empty since I got here...”

 

The loudmouth kid was offended by her bawdy demeanor. He pushed the Confederate hat backwards on his head, and let out a Rebel Yell.

 

“GET IN THE TRUCK, DAMMIT! PAYIN’ CUSTOMERS GIVE THE ORDERS, YOU CRANKY BITCH!”

 

She began to retreat, after throwing her wet sponge. But the immature buck jumped from his place behind the steering wheel, and caught her arm. She ended up as a hapless victim, flying through the open door in a fit of rage. Her face met the passenger window with a rude slap of skin on the glass.

 

Tears streamed down her cheeks. Makeup smeared until the colored stain dripped over her stretchy top. The downside of returning to her old profession had just become painfully evident.

 

The hillbilly runt fished out a revolver from his glovebox, as his prey was struggling in her seat. His mood had turned dark and threatening.

 

“NO MORE GAMES, WHORE! I FIGURE Y’ALL OWE ME A FREEBIE NOW! WE’RE GOIN’ OVER TO MY SHED, IT’S ON THE BACK ROAD BY TRUMBULL WOODS. I GUARANTEE YA WILL HAVE A GOOD TIME. PLAN ON SPENDIN’ THE NIGHT!”

 

Lincoln was watching from his porch, not far away. A resilient thump pounded in his chest. He leaned forward, with a mist of Tennessee whiskey rising from his beard. An altercation of some sort was transpiring in the pickup cab. He saw a fist pummel the unwilling captive until her head drooped with submission. Then, the dual rear wheels began to grind out smoke and chunks of rubber.

 

The Dodge Ram made a speedy getaway, with violent intentions lingering in the trail of exhaust that remained. Yet the promise of vengeance had not been fulfilled. The shaggy loner stood up with his disability canes at the ready.

 

“This ain’t over, little man! I guaran-damn-tee it ain’t over!”

 

Hogan Bayles lived in a crumbling, single-wide hovel not far from the property’s sewer facility. Summer months meant that he had to keep his windows closed, and the air conditioners running, to avoid breathing a prevailing stench of dung. Colder months kept him protected. But the thaw they were experiencing seemed to set loose disgusting wisps of solid waste. Traces of fecal matter clung to the air. It made him surly as he ordered his weeping prisoner inside.

 

“Yer prettier than anything I’ve had in my house. I’ll give ya that, girl! It’ll be a privilege to shag that booty, I gotta say! Believe me, y’all will be grateful when we’re done! I’m a stallion in blue jeans, the ladies say around here!”

 

Gina fell onto her knees, in the deep-pile carpeting. A floor tapestry she guessed must have been left over from a previous owner. She spat at her tormentor, and raised a middle finger. Her long, glossy nail glistened in the light from a ceiling fan.

 

“Pound salt, donkey! I don’t give anything away for free! You’d get your ass kicked on my side of Painesville. A puny prick like you would be laughed at, and knocked flat on your butt!”

 

The raucous MOPAR rancher stomped her right hand with a western boot. He had completely run out of patience.

 

“ON THE COUCH, MAMA! QUIT TALKIN’ AND DROP YER LAUNDRY! THIS BULLCRAP HAS LASTED LONG ENOUGH! I WANT SOME KITTY ACTION!”

 

A quake of human dimensions began to resound from outside the musty room. Footsteps shook the front entryway. Then, a crash of three-hundred pounds split the plywood door in half. Splinters scattered over a pockmarked coffee table and chairs.

 

Lincoln stood in the gap with his pores oozing droplets of whiskey and beer.

 

“Let her go, dickhead! The action you’ll get tonight is coming from me! Are you ready for a freaking party? Let’s do this!”

 

Hogan tried to project the strong image of his pro-wrestling namesake. But the attempt failed miserably.

 

“I’ve got a gun, old timer! Don’t risk yer life for a tramp! That’d be a sin and stupid to boot!”

 

The contrarian outcast spun one of his canes like a baton, then held it backwards by the bottom. The engraved, derby handle swung like a mallet. Its metal construction left an imprint in the kid’s jaw. He dropped his pistol and howled with injury.

 

“WHAT THE HELL? YOU REALLY WANNA SAVE THIS HOOKER SO BAD? IT DON’T MAKE ANY SENSE, GRANDPAW! SHE AIN’T WORTH GETTIN’ STOMPED!”

 

The hairy hermit flashed on memories of serving in conflicts, overseas. He brought the walking implement down skillfully, with tactics learned as an Army grunt. Soon, his boastful opponent had wilted into a pile of blood and broken bones.

 

Jason Aldean crooned from a wireless speaker, in the kitchen.

 

“Stomp on the flag and light it up, yeah, you think you’re tough, well try that in a small town, see how far you make it down the road...”

 

Gina lunged to escape after the confrontation had ended. She ran across the yard, hissing and screeching all they way back to her own trailer near the maintenance garage. The intentions of her knight-in-shining armor were unclear. Yet it didn’t matter. She had been liberated.

 

Hogan coughed up crimson phlegm. His teeth were broken. Giving up the animalistic quest for pleasure seemed like his best option, to sidestep the ignominy and humiliation of being defeated by a cripple.

 

A day later, the young trollop found her hero back on his bench at Lot 13. He was numb and silent, reeking of alcohol and charcoal from the grill. Gratitude swelled in her bountiful chest. But she did not know how to vocalize this genuine emotion.

 

“I won’t ask why you stepped in, old fart. But I want to, just the same. You’re a damn riddle in this park. Harder to understand than I am! So I’ll say this instead, thank you! Thank you for giving a damn!”

 

Lincoln was very drunk. He could barely see far enough to recognize that she was standing at the top of his access ramp.

 

“Neighbor, I won’t judge you for taking risks. I don’t talk a lot about stuff. But here’s the deal, there’s a lady in California right now who looks a lot like you. She had to grow up without a dad in her life. Because he’s a reject. A teenage dude who had a chance encounter with an older dame. A wild traveler, who once lived on the west coast. That wayfarer from Cali claimed she had an abortion. Ain’t that a trick? But the truth offered a second shot at being a parent. Except it didn’t. They never met. Both of them were on opposite sides of the continent. She has a son now, one that carries the genetic traits of their bloodline. Her heart has a hole in it, from not knowing completely how she entered this world. And he has no place in her life. The one thing I hope, sitting here getting wasted on booze, is that somebody out there will care enough to protect her, as I did for you. Maybe for no reason at all, just because right had to be done.”

 

Gina was sobbing. She lit a coffin nail and sat down on a plastic chair from Walmart, situated by the garbage bin.

 

“Tell me more about your daughter and grandson, Link... I want to hear the story!”

Trailer Park Vignettes - “Streetwalker” (Part One)


 


c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(2-24)

 

 

Gina Marie Puchevsky had a bad feeling about her move to Evergreen Estates. The rural community of mobile homes was situated away from her native area in Painesville, a more metropolitan and diverse location where she knew lots of people. Yet after her grandmother had passed away, only that forlorn piece of property in the trailer village remained. The boxcar-brought-in-on-wheels was her meager inheritance. A pitiful possession to behold, but better than working the streets of Lake County for a clandestine, cash reward.

 

She moved in on a Saturday, while the weather was unusually mild for February.

 

The young upstart soon discovered that residents in her new oasis were not so different from those left behind. There were lots of blue-collar, tattooed people on the street when she arrived. Many were smoking tobacco or marijuana, or drinking out of cheap bottles and cans purchased from a convenience store around the corner. She parked her Jeep Wrangler in the skinny driveway, skipped up the front steps with a duffel bag full of clothes, and turned her key in the door lock. Inside, the air was musty and stale. Smells of arthritis cremes, baby powder, and menthol cigarettes filled her nostrils.

 

There were three ceramic crosses on top of the vintage, console television. And a portrait of Jesus, in silent repose.

 

Gina did not know anyone at the distant property. So for the first time since childhood, she felt completely alone. Her grandmother had been a rock of sorts, always providing comfort when other members of the family had abdicated their parental responsibilities. Alcoholism and unemployment dogged her through grade school and beyond. Only the gray-haired matron stayed true to her words. When she said ‘I love you, girl!’ it actually meant something. No one else had that kind of staying power. No one else could mute the sting of her shame as a sort of orphan, parading on high heels along Mentor Avenue. A rag doll tossed carelessly into the fray.

 

But now, Granny was gone.

 

Park Manager Dana Alvarez had plenty of paperwork to sign, on the afternoon of her first day as a landed citizen in the rustic development. The busy, professional steward showed up in a golf cart that had been stored in their maintenance garage. Both women had navigated through lots of perils and pitfalls while coming of age. This made them bond almost instantly. Yet when it came to the subject of adhering to rules and guidelines, her tone hardened.

 

“You’ll hear things said around here that don’t line up with the facts. Comprende? If there’s a question, come to me. These caballeros and chicas like to talk. Don’t fall for their mierda, okay? These big toros are full of caca. But if they pay the lot rent on time, I let it slide. Otherwise, they get kicked to the curb!”

 

The urban immigrant nodded her head with acquiescence.

 

“My grandma owned this longbox for years. She was a widow before I got born. I never knew her any other way. She used to visit whenever I lived in Painesville. My ma kept moving all the time. Dad was a trucker, but also a bad drunk. He kept getting fired and starting fights at home...”

 

Dana smoothed her long, black hair with fingers spread wide like the teeth of a comb.

 

“Si, your abuela! I get it! I always relied on my gram too. That generation lived differently than us, they knew how to survive. I think it got lost along the way. But maybe urchins like you and me have learned to push on through when it gets tough. We know what our folks didn’t. Screw them! We don’t need nobody, right?”

 

Gina had dressed in a camouflage sweatshirt, and leggings. Her reddish hair was a stringy mess. She did not feel so confident about starting over. But tried to fake it while signing official documents.

 

“Yeah, I cried on my grandma’s shoulder a lot. She carried me when nobody else gave a shit. This is a new game for me, I’ve never made it on my own...”

 

After settling in, weeks and months passed quickly. The newcomer made friends and found a job at a travel plaza in Madison, waiting tables. Repairs on the prefab hovel scrambled her plans to save money and find another, better place to live. She fell into debt while trying to keep her donated residence from falling apart. A redneck boyfriend shared the space for a short period, but eventually disappeared with the roll of legal tender she had been hiding in her underwear drawer. He smacked her around before leaving, which evoked bitter memories of being shoved into the corner by her inebriated father, after speaking too boldly.

 

Finally, there was an eviction notice on the window by her front stoop. She hadn’t paid rent in two or three months. Their park representative showed no emotion when she pleaded for time to make things right and satisfy this delinquency.

 

“Hey, you thought I was kidding maybe? Dios santo! You gotta get your act together, woman! If I didn’t send the funds on time, I’d be out on my culo, too! The owners live out of state, all they see is a bottom line. Money in the bank. Or no money. If that account goes empty, they get very testy! Figure it out or leave. I’m sorry, babe!”

 

Gina knew the tank on her little 4x4 was nearly empty. Her job at the truck center barely yielded enough to keep the vehicle running. Options and resources were dwindling as she struggled. With bad credit and empty pockets, there was no safety net in place to keep her from crashing. Then, a wickedly ironic thought crossed her mind. One that made a chill run over her skin. She didn’t have the extra protection of a high-wire artist, but there was a different sort of open-mesh weave that might offer her absolution. One that had helped to fill her purse in days spent trekking over the cold concrete of cities along Lake Erie.

 

Not a safety net, but a pair of fishnet stockings. In luxurious, black nylon.

Friday, February 2, 2024

Nothing To See Here – “Hyperbole”

 



c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(2-24)

 

 

“A writer who is afraid to overreach himself is as useless as a general who is afraid to be wrong.” – Raymond Chandler

 

A convenient vehicle for writing projects is the tool of exaggeration. This option to magnify things so that they may be seen more clearly is useful in directing attention from the reader. Or for the purpose of highlighting a particular point with dramatic effect. Yet when viewed through a lens of guilt, as an act of hindsight, the trick can fold inward upon itself.

 

Guilt is a damning emotion for any professional wordsmith.

 

Such thoughts were alive recently, as I pondered stories penned about the conflicted world of trailer park living. This metaphorical device is one I would have never used in any of my past work. Because, that stream-of-consciousness had not yet been created, by chance. But after my own slide into the realm of financial and intellectual poverty, suddenly it found a place of honor. To spin yarns about alienation and drunkenness was more than convenient in this new age. It became familiar and even comforting, as a medium for self-expression.

 

To simply portray a village of mobile homes in the stark colors and dimensions of literal prose did not seem an attractive proposition, however. Instead of describing the drudgery associated with surviving each day in a boxcar residence, sans liberties and respect, something more was needed. That truism inspired my leap forward, not unlike a sports league where athletes are trained to grow bigger, faster, and stronger out of competitive necessity.

 

To write about a bum eating a bologna sandwich would fail in its mission to titillate the mind. But if that same, common individual was portrayed as a contrarian hero, reeking of tobacco and hard liquor, smashing his way through manufactured walls on his four-wheeler, and carousing with busty, barely-clad feral femmes from the neighborhood, suddenly much more could be had as a yield.

 

The young child of a former spouse got this concept in a flash of brilliance, when I debated the creative strategy with her mother. She observed defensively that it was necessary to ‘jazz things up for the newspaper.’ This pure and honest assessment made both of us laugh out loud. It hit the bullseye. With candor in her quiver, the kid was right on target.

 

Plain truth offered dryly is, to be sure, quite dry.

 

The rub in using hyperbole as a method to drive energy into a particular storyline is that some may look upon the result as a document of fact. A hard and fast statement, fit for a court of law. Seemingly chiseled into the stone face of a mountain. Yet human experience has shown that sometimes, great revelations come through fictional adventures. A bland retelling of events functions well under front-page headlines, on a newspaper. Yet when one digs deeper, in search of understanding, a more complete serving of authenticity is needed. One that crosses boundaries between lines of print, and the blank spaces in between.

 

Family members or friends might not get this take, initially. So, when reading about bawdy, rowdy characters propelled by lust and booze and philosophical extremes, they can react severely. Perhaps with thoughts of an intervention to stem a tide of addiction. Or with ideas rooted in theology and service to a higher power. With good intentions, they push forward to encourage betterment and healing. Still, the words of a comic character resonate more passionately than the admonitions of any prophet or pundit.

 

As Foghorn Leghorn said in the Warner Brothers cartoons, “It’s a joke son!”

 

Writing about those who survive on a subsistence level, in modular communities placed on rented strips of land, is a challenging exercise. But when situated in one of these isolated venues, with the parade of disaffection and regrets happening on a daily basis, this quantum leap is not difficult to make.

 

I debated the principle with Mama Grande, a close member of my bloodline, during a restful break in between writing sessions. On my way back from checking the Post Office in Chardon for business mail, I had stopped at her abode with sliced bacon and a shopping bag full of Ramen varieties. Items scored to bolster the household stash of foodstuffs.

 

Our conversation was lively and cheerful at first. But then, shame and correction entered the mix. I sat with my jaw drooping as she asked if I had ever considered seeking help for personal issues that were too weighty to be handled alone.

 

“I worry about you, brother. Your drinking, carousing, and lingering depression! It makes me concerned to see you suffering alone. Know this – it doesn’t have to be that way! We’ve got counselors at my church. Kind-hearted people with lots of experience battling the burdens of alcoholism, divorce, and other related ills. They can help!”

 

I choked on every word she uttered.

 

“ALCHOLOLISM? DEPRESSION? CAROUSING?”

 

She shook her head and affected a scolding tone that singed my ears.

 

“C’mon Rodney, I’ve read the volumes you create! Those strange, naughty tales are a cry for help, I think! Every chapter seems to be about getting drunk, and meeting scantily-clad floosies in your park! It’s quite disgusting, actually! How can you live such a careless life?”

 

My face had turned bright red. Unwillingly, I had swatted a hornet’s nest.

 

“All of that stuff is satirical hyperbole, don’t you get it? Like a funhouse mirror, distorting a reflection for amusement and dramatic effect...”

 

Mama Gee was not convinced. She adjusted her oversized glasses and peered at me with suspicion.

 

“Guzzling liquor every day? Passing out on your couch? Or on the wooden bench outside? Women coming to visit in a tight T-shirt and Daisy Duke shorts? Please, I’m not stupid! That kind of lifestyle will take its toll eventually. You’re an old codger now, so to speak. Not a teenager! Give up the beer and bourbon. Come to church with me, instead of wasting the time you have left! Get well and live right! We all care about you!”

 

I was panting for my breath, like a dog needing to go on a pee break.

 

“I’ve been writing for years, haven’t you noticed my counterculture themes before? It’s an act, a spoof on the prevailing attitude toward communities of mobile homes. There hasn’t been a bottle of strong spirits in my house for an eternity. And I never sleep on the sofa, or my porch, it would be too uncomfortable. My characters do those things, because I am delivering a stilted exaggeration of what transpires in the neighborhood, every day...”

 

My sibling brushed cracker crumbs off of her floral blouse.

 

“What about the seething hate over being stuck in your park? You spin out some really deep, dark thoughts about feeling isolated and shunned. It hurts my heart to read those awful confessions! I know you must be empty inside, totally sick and sorrowful. I just can’t stand it sometimes, so I have to close my eyes!”

 

Her reaction made me feel like a school kid who had been caught drawing dirty pictures.

 

“Sis, listen to yourself! If I was blitzed all the time, how would it be possible to function? How could I make it through the day without getting into a fight with someone, or being arrested? I live alone, which is for the better. Nobody comes around, unless I get an Amazon delivery, or a pizza provided through the restaurant pipeline. Think about it, what I do is use the privilege of ‘artistic license.’ It’s a common writing trick. I bend the truth a little bit, to garner attention. You know, polish the turd as some might say...”

 

Mama blew her nose into a Kleenex. She had tolerated my presence for long enough.

 

“Suit yourself! Go home to your tramp-stamp ladies and your jugs of cheap wine! I’ve tried to show you the way to recovery, just remember that! If you won’t listen, so be it! I’m done!”

 

The door slammed shut after I had made my exit.

 

I stood outside in the cool, evening air while balancing on my twin canes. A protagonist from one of my books would probably have lit a cigarette, and taken a fiery sip of Jack Daniel’s while walking down the zig-zag ramp, toward their pickup truck. Yet I had no such seedy comforts hidden in my hoodie pockets. A streetlight’s glare enhanced the inner gloom of silent sobriety. When I turned the ignition key of my plain, black vehicle, it rumbled to life and sat idling at the curb. I had to wait for my nerves to settle, before driving away. But when my fingers grasped the steering wheel, a familiar vibe interrupted this mood of woeful introspection.

 

All of this was likely to provide inspiration at home, in front of my computer.

Thursday, February 1, 2024

Nothing To See Here – “Rant”





c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(2-24)

 

 

“If I couldn’t three times a day, be allowed to drink my little cup of coffee, in my anguish, I will turn into a shriveled-up roast goat...” – From the ‘Coffee Cantata’ by Johann Sebastian Bach

 

Friends with good intentions have sometimes repeated the familiar admonition that a drunken mind speaks a sober heart. Yet for this writer, an inverse phrase would be more accurate. Specifically, that a brain running without coffee for fuel has no limit on its ability to opine carelessly, and reveal truths better left unsaid.

 

Such thoughts appeared recently as I took a telephone call from my friend Janis Mays. This individualistic, feral friend had been hospitalized in Cuyahoga County, after suffering a third stroke last year. Her recovery meant going to a rehab facility near the Cleveland Clinic. Around seven months later, she was transferred to another skilled-care home, in Ashtabula. A venue closer to her own residence by Lake Erie.

 

I had my morning ration of caffeine perking at the time, a process no longer so speedy since having to replace my BUNN brewpot with a Toastmaster equivalent from Dollar General. The minimalist kitchen-aid had cost $18.00, and immediately manifested a level of functionality equal to that meager price. There were no frills in its design. Therefore, I had to relearn my morning routine, out of necessity.

 

The new appliance worked well enough, but it did not hurry.

 

I knew that my friend was calling from a public spot, as her temporary residence in ‘Bula did not feature landline hookups in each room. So, there was extra motivation to answer her call quickly. I had five rings before the cellular connection would go to voicemail. Thumping along with two canes, I made it to the end of my couch where the device was charging, on the last of these electronic blips.

 

Janis immediately commenced to recite her early-in-the-day activities. These included eating portions of mush that were all unidentifiable individually. Yet the staff assured her that each dollop was some sort of healthy, organic matter. This strict diet was intended to promote healing in her gastric tract. She had limited abilities to swallow, and was constantly warned about the dangers of choking. But regardless of this important medical advice, she had continued to attempt sneaking unapproved treats from the plates of other patients. This contrary nature kept her constantly under surveillance.

 

Though she made the nurses and their assistants fret with concern, I took it as a good sign. After a long period away from everyday people, she had once again started to behave like her old self. I figured that must mean her return to normalcy lay close at hand.

 

Our conversation was well underway as I sat in a favorite chair, by the entertainment center in my living room. Yet this lively interaction came with my head still groggy, and belly growling in protest. Not a single sip of my natural starter-fluid had yet been tapped. So, I teetered from subject to subject as we talked, with the weak constitution of a newborn calf. My voice lilted when it should have been strong, and rang out like a schoolhouse bell, when I ought to have whispered instead. This amused my chum as she complained about being bored by her needy confinement.

 

“I want to go home, Rodbert! They finished all the therapy sessions, I don’t have to throw toy frogs anymore. My last visit got really crazy, because I kept hitting the guy in charge by accident! He snickered and smiled every time as if it didn’t matter. My aim is bad. I still can’t see straight!”

 

I wasn’t fully awake. Thus, her confession about the replicated amphibians sounded oddly surreal. I shook my head while listening.

 

“You weren’t restrained for assaulting a team member?”

 

Janis chortled loudly at my numb comment.

 

“Of course not, jackass! It was playtime, but also an exercise for hand-eye coordination. I wanted to go outside with the other inmates though, and have a ciggie! Screw their kiddo games! I’m good enough to get released!”

 

I was flustered at her report of some being allowed to take cigarette breaks in the courtyard.

 

“They let residents light up, outside? Damn! What a surprise!”

 

She huffed at my prudish disbelief.

 

“Anyway, it’s supposed to be warmer in the afternoon. Maybe I can slip out then, my first roomie still tries to help. That’s why we were split up, she got caught! The women here are like prison guards! They have a thing about authority. It’s weird, really weird!”

 

I tried to change the subject so she would forget about wanting to escape.

 

“I saw Ellen Piqua at our old store on South Broadway, while picking up prescriptions. She asked how you were doing and rambled on about job hunting. I thought by now she would have given up on that kind of pursuit. That woman has to be ten years older than I am, and comfortable financially. Yet I figure it’s hard to get off the merry-go-round. Not for you or me though, we’re both done chasing a paycheck...”

 

My cohort giggled and snorted while changing hands with the telephone receiver.

 

“I DON’T WANNA BE DONE! BUT I CAN’T DRIVE ANYMORE! IT SUCKS MAN, IT REALLY DOES! I NEED MONEY FOR POLAR POPS AND MENTHOL SMOKES! AND I WANT TO HIT A CHINESE BUFFET! OR TACO BELL!”

 

The lack of liquid motivation in my system showed its effects as I tumbled into delivering an unsolicited confession. No guardrails kept me from ranting. Before I could bite my tongue, it began to wag furiously, with canine intensity.

 

“See there’s the deal. I used to get out of bed every day, and immediately hear the clock ticking. Coffee, shower, drive to work, get on my knees and obey. Obey, obey, obey! It never stopped right up until the end, when I got a final trip to the front door. I saw my management career crash three times, after a company sale. When that ragged routine had finished, I was older and physically spent, and not so attractive as a candidate for hiring. I ended up broke and crawling through every month. But you know what else happened? I realized that the ball and chain was off my leg. There was no dog collar around my neck, anymore. No leash to make me behave, or a whip on my back. Seeing the morning sun felt different, because that glow in the sky said ‘This is your time to shine!’ How about that? I hadn’t been so free since being a teenager. Bouncing from here to there, staying with friends, surviving by my wits and the grace of God. For the first time in years, I felt truly alive! It was something I had forgotten, while running in the rat race...”

 

Janis pretended to snore. Apparently, my impulsive declaration had sapped her patience.

 

“Go drink your pot of mud, weirdo! I’ll call again after lunch sometime, and today’s episode of General Hospital. They let me have a Keebler Fudge Round yesterday, maybe I can talk them into a Pop Tart for dessert. I’m sick of the sloppy blender crap!”

 

My face was burning from chemical depravation. I heard the line go dead before getting up from my chair. She did not have any filter on her mouth, or social sensibilities.

 

“Peace out, Ms. Mays!”

Wednesday, January 31, 2024

Trailer Park Vignettes – “Undercover”


 


c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(1-24)

 

 

A muted glow permeated the lazy sky, as Evergreen Estates began to awaken on Wednesday morning. Judson Baines had dressed in camouflage apparel and an orange, knit beanie, before leashing his Golden Retriever. Together, they slogged through the muck left after melting snow surrendered to rising temperatures, an oddity at the end of January. The air tasted fresh and clear like mountain water. Overhead, geese were traversing the property in a vee formation. For a moment, the quiet despair of living in a village of mobile homes dissipated. This evoked a sense of liberation that was rare in that distant community. Something he needed desperately. Everything else about being plunged so deeply into the boundless void of poverty and social alienation rattled his psychology. He hated being perpetually broke.

 

Soon, they had managed to walk past all of the other homes on their meandering trail. Both of them came face to face with a deserted, corner lot that other citizens eschewed with gusto.

Pausing in the midst of their short trek, the retired mechanic bowed his head and stood in the street. Obediently, his canine companion waited for direction.

 

“Quigley? We’ve been out and about a thousand times around here, I reckon. But not usually so far, to the edge of this scruffy tract in the country. Until today, I never noticed that slab of concrete over in front of Dirty John’s abandoned longbox. It’s bare and jutting up like a table rock, after the last winter storm. Streaked with black soot, cracked and burned. That just strikes me different somehow. Almost as if it had been used as the base for a campfire. What ya think boy? Am I losing my marbles?”

 

The friendly pooch wagged his tail and looked around for tiny creatures to chase.

 

Baines crept closer to the fabricated stone, with a sense of curiosity. He remembered a swarm of yellow jackets guarding the spot during one of their summer jaunts. His mutt had been naively interested in the aerial zip of those stinging insects. But a nip at his nose changed that disposition. Everything else at the lot reeked of mold and decay and stale cigarettes. John Baughner had died around ten years before, with diabetes and hypertension causing him to succumb. There was no funeral to commemorate his graduation from the park roster. No wake with raised alcoholic drinks. No cheers or a celebration of life. No children or a spouse, to mourn. His body had been carried out in a zipper bag, by the local EMT crew. A sight that reminded neighbors of someone moving garbage to the curb, on their pickup day.

 

Since then, the manufactured hovel sat empty. No one seemed interested in peeking through ragged curtains in the broken windows. Or poking around through weeds that circled the perimeter. A storage barn remained on one side of the dwelling, stuffed with greasy tools and yard implements, and refuse. Theft in the park was not uncommon, especially when a vacated property had been allowed to crumble with neglect. Yet no one came near enough to harvest anything of value. The stench was too great, and a sense of dread unbearably overwhelming.

 

Something unexplained had transpired on this patch of ground, they were certain.

 

Baines grew bold enough to kneel in the driveway, while scanning his deceased neighbor’s residence for clues. He freed the loyal hound while feeling a burst of adventurous spirit.

 

“Quigley! Go over there and sniff around for a minute! See what y’all can flush out of the crabgrass. Maybe there’s a squatter living in that shell, who knows? Times are tough. We’ve had people staying in their cars, or even tents in the woods. Folks got to survive. Maybe there’s a simple explanation for me getting the heebie-jeebies today...”

 

The animal looked sideways and yelped defiantly. Then bolted to escape. He did not appear to have any interest in playing detective.

 

The former automotive technician rocked on his bootheels.

 

“DAMMIT BOY, I NEVER SAW Y’ALL TURN TAIL AND RUN LIKE THAT! WHAT’S GOT YA SPOOKED? IS THERE SOMETHING WEIRD IN THAT DESERTED BOXCAR?”

 

His fearless fido had developed a case of the willies.

 

From farther up the rustic boulevard, Kayleigh Cricket appeared in her big-tired, Jeep Wrangler. The orange vehicle had been splashed with mud, after a trip through the local outback of Thompson Township. She had her platinum mane pulled back with a patriotic scrunchie colored red, white, and blue. A Marlboro Red dangled from her puffy lips.

 

“Juddy, what the hell are you doing at Dirty John’s place? Nobody goes over there, it’s hexed! I wouldn’t let my favorite pet run on the lawn. There might be shit buried, maybe even a body! Or poison in the water!”

 

He responded with a drone of embarrassment. She had broken his concentration.

 

“I can’t explain it in so many words, but something is off, today. That mound of inedible hardtack in front of his trailer looks different. The slab is lifted, like something made the ground swell. It’s been cooked pretty good, on top. Do ya remember seeing a fire out here in the cold? Things don’t add up to me...”

 

Kayleigh wrinkled her perky nose. She flicked ash out of her window.

 

“You been alone too long, bro! Any other guy would be on the prowl for a barfly at one of our hillbilly taverns down the road. I think your brain is coming unglued! You need some stimulation! Go get it!”

 

Baines shook his head and spat on the tarmac.

 

“SCREW THAT NOISE! I KNOW WHAT I SEE! THERE’S SIGNS OF SOMETHING OVER AT JOHN’S PLACE, I JUST DON’T KNOW WHAT. Y’ALL CAN BET I’LL FIGURE IT OUT THOUGH. JUST GIVE ME TIME! I AIN’T AFRAID OF THE CONSEQUENCES!”

 

After the tattooed woman had pulled away in her bouncy vehicle, pleasant sounds of nature returned. The weary loner found Quigley hiding behind a garbage bin at an adjoining lot. He reconnected the leash strap to his dog’s harness, and turned in the opposite direction. Their minor adventure was now a boring footnote to be forgotten. But as he moved briskly, back toward his own strip of acreage in the park, a reflection of light streamed from inside the barren living space he left behind.

 

A mirror of some sort was still over the faux mantle and fireplace, in John’s ruined living room. A glare of rising gold called out from that interior wall, with strange urgency. Almost as if an invitation had been given.

 

Later, while emptying a bottle of Busch lager on his redwood deck, this unspoken call echoed in his skull. He twirled the longneck container in his fingers, and crouched on the stadium chair.

 

Kayleigh messaged his phone as this reflective interlude was passing.

 

“You’re a big boy, Juddy. I know there’s no need for a woman to nursemaid your ass! But seeing you snooping around at Dirty John’s dump made me wonder. I’d stay away, that’s just my cautious self, talking. That hairy freak should have disappeared without a trace. Nobody ever came to clear out his trailer. Even the park owners left it sitting unclaimed. Now what does that tell you? There’s damn sure bad vibes on that ground. Shit a smart person don’t mess with! Be one of those dudes, stay away and keep your balls intact! Booyah!”

 

Her text lecture only muddied the emotional water. He had to know what secrets waited inside. Once the 12-pack of suds had disappeared, with a compliment of Evan Williams bourbon, he had enough liquid courage in his bloodstream to embark on a second excursion.

 

Quigley stayed behind alone. There was no need for another being to shadow him on the risky adventure.

 

John Baughner’s shipping-container-on-wheels had been a premium build, initially. A Schult design with plenty of extra features. There were no current residents with enough seniority to remember when it first arrived at Evergreen Estates. But as years and decades flew by, the glistening example fell into disrepair. Much like its owner. Both were dragged down by unfavorable circumstances and bad fortune. When his mortal end came at last, the reclusive hobo had been mostly forgotten. A quirk of existing in the pines. Someone thought to be barely human and unworthy of affection or trust.

 

Baines took a circuitous route to visit the shunned shelter again. He wanted to be more anonymous as a spectator, on this occasion. Stealthy in probing beyond the outer bounds of that deserted lot. Once his bold mission had been accomplished, he slipped into a side door that barely opened on its rusty hinges. Fluttering wings alerted him to the presence of a bird nest, above. Then, he strode along a hallway that connected the small rooms. Once he had found the looking glass, across from a front entrance that had been nailed shut, he noted must hanging thick in the air.

 

The carpet was soggy with dripping water and mushy snow. Outside, it had begun to rain. Lightning flashed through a large hole in the vinyl siding. This helped him to see the interior conditions, without any electric light.

 

Reusable bags and boxes from the Heinen’s market in Chardon were everywhere. This upscale vendor of foods and necessities was one rarely patronized by anyone in their neighborhood. Stacked on shelving that had been cobbled together at both sides of the fake fireplace were rows and rows of reference books and novels. Biographies of notable figures throughout history, such as Mahatma Gandhi, Winston Churchill, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, and Nellie Bly. Along with volumes penned by Oscar Wilde, George Bernard Shaw, C.S. Lewis, and Virginia Woolf.

 

This library stunned the impulsive intruder with its considerable variety. He drifted through each cubicle in the prefab home, noting an assortment of wares and trinkets that did not comport with prevailing views held about its former inhabitant. In the last space adjoining a closet and bathroom, there was an upright piano with sheet music sitting regally above the ivory keys. A candelabra sat on top, with wax droplets scarring the wood underneath.

 

Outside, a burst of electric blue struck the concrete pad that first garnered his attention on the previous day. This caused the trailer to rock on its foundation, and shed a modified petrichor of desiccated fungal life. Baines heard bits of the roof disintegrating, as a new storm blew through their mobile oasis. He ran for the nearest window, which had been stripped of its glass panes and framework. A dive through this rectangular portal sent him crashing to the sidewalk, with debris falling swiftly in his wake. He had escaped just before support beams gave way, and material fatigue felled the withered, old structure like an oak in the forest.

 

As he crawled toward the street, a new revelation became evident. The gray slab that had fascinated him during his dog walk was now split in half. Buried beneath the shroud was a canvas tote labeled with a stenciled number. It looked to be a relic from military surplus. Or a government-issue carrier. An inexplicable find in their humble neighborhood.

 

As he untied the bag, an odor of vintage paper stock wafted upward. There were bills stuffed inside, loads of legal tender printed in an earlier era. A banker’s note accompanied the seedy stash. As if it had been taken from a vault, or a delivery truck. With surprise, the lonely retiree realized that this bounty of misappropriated cash must have been hidden for many years. An Edison bulb illuminated in his imagination, providing a eureka moment. By chance, he had received a post-deathbed confession from the mysterious figure. Not unlike a priest dutifully listening to a voice speaking from beyond the veil.

 

Perhaps Dirty John had been willfully undercover, all along?

 

Once the clandestine treasure had been returned to its point of exile, Baines slid the broken concrete back into place. He crossed himself while standing at the driveway edge. Lightning from the heavens had provided an awe-inspiring moment of truth.

 

“In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. Understand me, y’all, I’m doing this to keep peace. Money messes with human minds. I don’t want that on my hands. Yer secret is safe with me brother! Rest easy in the grave. Now two of us are carrying the burden of omerta. Amen!”

 

 

Tuesday, January 30, 2024

Nothing To See Here – “Fading Out”




 


c. 2024 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(1-24)

 

 

Three o’clock in the morning.

 

As I sit in front of my computer early on a Tuesday, the gravity of being at work long after my cerebral synapses have begun to fall asleep is evident. While sunrise is distant at this hour, I am still edgy with anticipation for the new day that lies ahead. My need to exorcise demons of boredom and futility has been satisfied with YouTube clips of Jerry Springer, vintage car reviews, and Johnny Carson anecdotes. This foray deep into the vast emptiness of night has left me unarmed, in a sense. Yet still able to cope. I am at the desk in my home office, awake enough and active enough, to strike the wireless keyboard with purpose.

 

Should a drunken scholar try to compose a manuscript at such a late hour? Probably not. But regardless of that truism, here I go...

 

Basic biology has an overwhelming effect on the human mind. This is something I have learned over years spent pondering my own existence as a mortal being. When I chug beer of a full-strength variety, and eat Ramen noodles or some other satisfying, starchy meal as a compliment, the result always comes as a fall from dietary grace. I get food fatigue, crash in my bed or some other convenient spot, and snore away an interlude between famine and feasting.

 

Then, my energy levels reset.

 

This paradigm was in effect tonight as I had a bowl of Sapporo Ichiban Miso Ramen, after two bottled brews, and a few extra rounds from my refrigerator stash of cans. The carbohydrate blast hit my bloodstream with enough intensity that I fell on my face, soon afterward. But the period of slumber that followed did not last too long. I was down around seven o’clock, and back up only a couple of hours later. When conscious again, I felt cranked and driven to survive the event with impunity. I took a seat at my desk, with a fresh ration of suds, and embarked on an adventure that was unplanned and impulsive.

 

Getting blitzed after passing out has a peculiar charm, as experiences go...

 

I started to drink while watching videos via my Roku device. The late Gerald Norman Springer was still very much alive, in cyberspace. His familiar voice tickled my ears with seedy stories of interpersonal conflicts, and making a career out of letting everyday people express themselves honestly, in a forum without pretentiousness.

 

“So today we start our 25th year of doing this show. My gratefulness surpassed only by my surprise. My surprise at its longevity. How in the world did we last so long? Let’s be honest, virtually anyone could do what I do. Which is to basically say three things. ‘You did what? Come on out! We’ll be right back!’ You practice that and you’ll be hosting your own show in no time! Oh, there is one other thing that brings success. Luck, lots of it. And surround yourself with smart, talented people who know a heck of a lot more about television than I do. Look, I’ve been blessed through these 25 years to have people of enormous talent and drive producing a show of constant challenges which can’t be saved day to day by simply booking a big-name celebrity. You see, we don’t have any on our show. No, just regular folks of no fame, little if any wealth, and very little influence. Folks just taking a moment which they rarely if ever get, to let the world know about what they are thinking or feeling or doing. Admittedly it is often outside the norm of accepted behavior, but what I have learned over our quarter-century of shows, is that deep down, we are all alike. Some of us just dress better. Or had a better education. Or better luck in the gene pool of parents. I’ll say it again. Deep down, we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we cry when we’re hurt, we’re angry when we are mistreated, and to be liked, accepted and respected, not to mention loved, is the greatest gift of all. Yes, we’re all alike. Know this, there’s never been a moment in the 25 years of doing this show that I ever thought I was better than the people who appear on our stage. I’m not better, only lucky. So, thanks for the 25 years. We’ve signed on to do a whole bunch more. And as long as I stay healthy, we will. And on that note, take care of yourself and each other.”

 

As four o’clock approached, I had lost my trill. In the slang terms of tavern culture, my taste for beverage alcohol. I quit drinking while the clock ticked away, in a march toward sunrise. It seemed impossible to contemplate that half of a day had elapsed since I sat in front of the television in my living room, watching news reports from Cleveland media affiliates. But the reality squeezed my brain. I had moved from one end of my home to the other, and traded live programming for reruns-on-demand. Everything else remained the same.

 

Before surrendering to fatigue, I sent out an e-mail message to friends in New York State as a final gesture of consciousness.

 

“Hey, I’m still awake here, forgive me for not making a late call. One or more of you might have still been at the viewscreen, possibly. Perhaps we could have enjoyed a meaningful conversation. Yet I am buzzed, to say the least. I reckon that discussing anything coherently would have taxed my gray matter at the moment. My head is clouded with bullshit right now. Hops and grains and too much sodium and fatigue. I can’t see straight. The furnace keeps cycling on and off and on again. It must be cold outside. This is January, after all. I’ve been stuck inside for weeks, just the occasional moment out on my bench for a respite. Warmer months lie ahead, I know that might not excite you so much, but it makes me giddy with thoughts of fresh air and basking in the solar glow. I need that kind of rescue to clear the cobwebs. Take it easy, friends. Be well and safe!”

 

Motor vehicles were passing my mobile home now, as the rush to stay on schedule had returned with vigor. The work routine of a day being birthed was beginning. I coughed and spun around in my office chair, while straining to read the clock on my computer. Soon, daylight would be streaming through the windows. I needed to crash.

 

I hobbled through my trailer while fading out, like a spent candle. My time at the keyboard was done. Another chapter of the saga had been written and filed away.

 

Now, it was time to greet oblivion.