“Aldous Crane”

  

c. 2026 Rod Ice

All rights reserved

(7-26)

 

 

Aldous Crane lived outside of town

In a singlewide shack

They said he became a widower

When his wife had a heart attack

But the true tale is complicated

The heart spell was his

She ran off with a neighbor

When he had no more to give

That boy did his best

But he just couldn’t pass the test

 

That split broke him in pieces

He was nevermore alive

Like an empty jar sitting out

With nothing on the inside

It left him cold and lonely

Though he smiled through each day

With his Tennessee whiskey

In pitchers of Lynchburg Lemonade

That boy couldn’t get it right

He drank a full bottle, every night

 

Aldous Crane got to be an old fool

Sitting out on his front porch

It was uncomplicated fun

Stuck right there by the storm door

Nobody came calling to check

Which he rightly did prefer

Nobody really gave a damn

And he was grateful to endure

That boy was running solo

In a backwoods part of Ohio

 

Daisy Dee saw him on a Sunday morn

And invited him along to church

She said, “Come and hear the Holy Word!”

As he dribbled down his T-shirt

“A shaggy man of your kind

Needs to be reclaimed!”

The very thought put rocks in his belly

He had no interest in being saved

That boy had forgotten how to love

He didn’t care for heaven, above

 

But she came around, near every day

And kept teaching him with verse

From her tattered copy of the Bible

And candy mints in her purse

She was too wise for a taste of liquor

And by goodness, he was not

But every visit served a purpose

They became partners in thought

That boy had a feeling that some day

They might wed, no matter what folks would say

 

Aldous Crane finally made a proposal

One that met between the halves

He said, “Give me one more drink of bourbon

And I’ll go up to Sunday class!”

That bargain changed the moment

She saw him with a different face

The moment brought a revelation

And his sorrow was erased

That boy finally figured out

That there’s a way to shed shame and doubt

 

Now that bearded bum is content

To share his happy stoop

No longer hungry in the evening

Fed on cornbread and bean soup

Daisy Dee is queen of their roost

A godly woman, satisfied

The pair cleaves unto each other

As the good book says is right

That boy finally found a special friend

Staked a claim on being born again

 

That boy finally found a special friend

Staked a claim on being born again